I just came home from Langkawi yesterday but I will be going away for two days. I just got news from my sister that my maternal grandmother had passed away this afternoon. She was 87.
I will be going home to Selangor tonight. Her funeral and cremation is tomorrow.
I am OK, no worries.
I am thankful that my Porpor had a long life. She lived with us for as long as I could remember.
She is at peace now and that’s all that matters.
Over and out.
Krista Goon
Yo, Dumped a Book Lately?
You know, it’s every reader’s guilty secret. This book dumping thing.
Book dumping happens to the best of us. It happens to everyone who reads.
I am sure we all started out eager to read everything and anything that came our way – I still read the small print on cosmetic bottles, the nutritional information on Danone Chocolate Chip Cookies (with Hazelnuts, of course), the ingredients of my Maybelline and ZA lipsticks, the awful bits of instructions which come with any gadget and gizmo. I guess once one knows how to recognise letters and words, there’s just no stopping us. It’s on autopilot I guess.
And then, there’s book dumping. Book dumping is that act which we voracious, greedy readers commit. Like moi. I pick up a book excitedly, read it for some 4 or 5 pages and then…. get so deflated because the book is NOTHING like the review I read some moons ago. Or nothing like I expected when salivating over the cover or the blurbs or the glowing praises.
The book becomes my personal burden. I am amazed that I even picked it up. But the perfectionist reader in me screams, “But how can you leave it unread? That’s absolutely unthinkable! Unfathomable!”
Therein sets in the book dumping guilt.
But you see, I can’t seem to finish some books. One in particular bugs me to no end. It’s still sitting like some fat cat on my shelf – Hemingway’s For Whom the Bells Toll. I thought I needed some literary inspiration. All I got was some inane mental torture. I can’t decide if the idea of war repulses me or the idea of that strange man’s writing (which for the life of me I cannot understand – errr, does that make me an intellectual moron?).
Of course, Daphne has written about it sometime ago and that I don’t have to feel guilty about not finishing a book. It’s my prerogative anyway. It’s my time anyway.
And yet! The other one is Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoevsky (see, I can’t even spell that man’s name!) which is so belligerently boring. He goes on and on about how guilty he feels about stealing from the old woman, whom he also murdered. How guilt is eating into him and how he believes everyone knows he’s committed such a heinous crime. And that’s all I know because I stopped at page 231. Yes, yes, hurray for me because I managed to read half of the book before I gave up in desperation.
I am trying not to feel guilty about book dumping because these days I try to select the kind of books I want to read, not books on someone’s must-read list, or some award winners of some competition or other. It doesn’t work for me.
I’ve decided that if I don’t want to dump books, I should be pickier about books I read. On my to-read list are quite a number of fiction and non-fiction (thanks to book-buying every now and then when I go to Borders and Popular in Queensbay Mall).
There’s Thomas Friedman’s The World is Flat, Terry Pratchett’s Thud!, Eisenberg brothers’ Waiting for Your Cat to Bark, W.Chan Kim’s Blue Ocean Strategy (thanks to Rona for this true gem of a book), Jostein Gaarder’s Maya (yes, Mayakirana reads Maya!) and Kirk Cheyfitz’ Thinking Inside the Box. Plus, Best Pal loaned to me Kazuo Ishiguro’s Never Let Me Go which I haven’t started on yet! Tsk, tsk. (A side note: My all-time favourite books are The Little Prince by Antoine de St Exupery and Sophie’s World by Jostein Gaarder. The book I don’t like at all was VC Andrew’s very dark, very disturbing Secrets in the Attic which I read at 14 and which traumatised me for the longest time after!)
What’s your book list like and shhh… have you dumped a book lately? Do tell!
To Market, To Market, To Buy a Fat Pig…
Did I tell you I enjoy poking around flea markets, charity fairs, bazaars and yes, even morning markets like Chowrasta? The sights and sounds (and the bargains) are amazing. Sometimes I get intrigued by the kinds of innovative consumer items and products on sale. And of course, at times, I am so tempted to buy them all.
I have not been to Lorong Kulit for the longest time now but Sundays are the best days to go. I wrote about it once last year or was it the year before last? Anyway, I don’t go to buy much except fresh fruits and maybe, a look-see around Tuan Haji’s gems stall. You can read the post and find out more about Lorong Kulit. Lorong Kulit is open seven days a week but the best day is of course Sunday when all the traders and vendors come out in full force. Parking can be tricky as this area is bonkers on a Sunday. Try parking behind the City Stadium. Go before 9am or you will be in for a sweltering time.
The next market I love is the wet market. Some may despise it for it stinks – well – of everything! Of fruits, of meat, of fish, of vegetables. Of wet slippery floors and loud brash people. But that aside, wet markets have other stuff too. Like the Lip Sin market. On Saturdays and Sundays, you can find racks and racks of blouses, skirts and jeans on sale. And trinkets. All shiny stuff that we women adore. I’ve even bought bags at this market. Clutch bags for dinner, and casual holdall bags, whatever shape or size. Of course, they’re so NOT branded lah. There’s even a magician who sells magic kits and performs the odd trick or two at this Lip Sin market on Sundays. His name’s David – this I know because Nic is a closet magician and he’s bought magic tricks from David.
The other market I like is the Little Penang Market which is at Upper Penang Road on the last Sunday of each month. It’s a crafts-and-food market showcasing the best of Penang’s artisans and craftsmen and craftswomen. These people are the true entrepreneurs of their wares – they make the products themselves. I’ve met Mr Khoo who sells potted plants such as rosemary, basil, and other herbs (actually I bought a pot of gorgeous-smelling rosemary from him). I’ve met Mr Cheong who handcrafts items like letter openers, swords, bread tongs and more from discarded wood.
I’ve also met utterly creative women like Chiat Peng who designs a 101 things – she makes bags, earrings, rings, and lots more. I’ve bought two pairs of earrings from her before and I thought her designs were good (especially when I went to her blog and saw her designs there). In fact, my good friend Karen was commenting on how pretty my earrings were! Thanks Chiat Peng!
I also love charity fairs and bazaars for their unique items – the American Women’s Association of Penang organise good Christmas bazaars in December. And of course, the Japanese community in Penang as well. All one has to do is to keep one’s ears and eyes open and there’s a bunch of good finds in Penang any time of the year.
Thai product fairs are also my fave haunts. I like the mesmerising bling-bling clothes and tacky, garish, plasticky jewellery. I sometimes find the best skirt or blouse at these places (and I practise my bargaining skills too with these Teochew-speaking Thais). In Penang, Thai fairs are often held in shopping malls. The one I went to recently is at Midlands One-stop Centre. After shopping, you can slurp down a bowl of khanom jeen or tomyam and have your dessert of pulut mango too. What a way to end a shopping experience! Or for Nic, it’s a place to enjoy a good reflexology massage.
And then there’s jumble sales and garage sales. If you like these sales, you might want to check out Shopping with Soul Doctor who lives in KL and noses out the best car sales, warehouse sales, flea markets and more. I wish I were in KL!
These days, one can do more than buy a fat pig at the market!
PS. And I love going to Chatuchak in Bangkok. Even non-shopaholics will be impressed. This place is nirvana for Sophie Kinsella fans – from pets to furniture, from bags to clothes, from snacks to full meals – I mean this place is the cat’s whiskers! I have not explored all of Chatuchak so that will be a reason why I must go to Bangkok sometime soon!
Sighing over Supper…
Almost zonked out from sheer tiredness today.
Woke up early to meet a friend for breakfast at McD’s Sunrise Tower but let me tell you, I really don’t see what the big fuss is about. (By the way, my Godmother who is in her 50s, loves the McD Breakfast although she’s very careful about what she eats!) Really, if it weren’t for the stay-as-long-as-you-like environment and aircond, I would really have settled for some kopitiam somewhere in Gurney Drive or Pulau Tikus.
I am not a biggie fan of fast food. It’s not due to the fat and grease, either. I just don’t think it’s real food. I take fast food like McD’s or KFC whenever I am at airports so go figure. Fast food is the last option of mine. It’s a quick bite on the go, and a convenient food for those times when heck, any old rubbish will do.
Of course, at times I do get cravings for meat. During one of our nightly mahjong sessions, my cousin and I suddenly got this real hunger for KFC. We imagined tucking into nicely fried, crispy fried chicken ala the Colonel. We stopped playing mahjong for a while and we hopped into my trusty Baby (hey, don’t you name your cars too?) and we zipped into IJM Batu Lanchang for some takeaway fried chicken and yes, those cheesy wedges (that’s the only saving grace of this place, besides the fried chicken).
But once we had gorged ourselves silly (and became totally ‘jelak’ on the cheese and grease), we swore we’d never touch another fried chicken again for at least 3 months. That happens to us when we overstuff ourselves with all manner of KFC, or even McD.
The fast food topic came up again during lunch again today with a few friends. We were talking about fast food and WC said that yes, sometimes, he really has no choice when it comes to filling one’s tummy at 2am. It was the lesser of two evils – either nasi kandar or McD. He says he usually pops into McDonalds Greenlane (which is open 24 hours) after midnight and there’s a queue of cars at the drive-thru. And sometimes he has to wait for his orders to be ready. And yes, there’s quite a number of hungry folks at night.
It seems there’s also this double promo at McD’s Greenlane where you get two huge burgers or something. Oh, it happens after midnight. Who’d want to chomp on not one, but TWO burgers? Apparently, I may be the odd one out. Most people would happily do so! Supper or an early breakfast? Maybe both!
Speaking of supper, I try not to eat after 1am. It wrecks havoc on my system anyway and I can’t sleep after that. During my uni days, supper was the ‘in’ thing on campus. In USM, we always sought each other out for supper. And having supper during the much-loved Study Week (hey, it should be renamed Supper Week) is a must, on the assumption that a full stomach made revision and the retention of facts much easier.
But I had a roommate from Kelantan who would take the same old supper each night. Siew Peng was one year my senior and we shared a room in Desa Aman (with another gal so there were 3 of us in one supertiny room).
Each night, Siew Peng would cook a packet of Maggi Mee Kari the undergrad way – dump noodles into bowl, pour boiling hot water over, cover for 3 minutes and then dig in. Each night, the smell of Maggi Mee Kari would assault my senses, particularly on nights when I had no night classes or when I had no co-curricular meetings.
Oh, the smell of Maggi Mee Kari. Awful! It’s so ‘synthetic’ even Margaret my cat won’t eat it. Yet, night after night, Siew Peng walloped one whole bowl of it. And she was a tiny gal, mind you. She was truly ‘powered’ by Maggi Mee Kari!
On the other hand, Nic and his roommates had weird suppers. They’d make a feast out of it – imagine making soft boiled eggs (the really runny type) and mixing Brands Chicken Essence with the eggs and glugging (eating? slurping?) the whole mixture down.
Eeeeuuuuwww. Gross. And they do this after they each eat a bowl of Mamee noodles. It enhanced their brain power. Or so the guys justified their supper. See? I tell you, boys are oddities. Especially a bunch of bored boys whose idea of fun is permeating their hostel room with the smell of luncheon meat cooked in an electric sandwich-maker. That’s definitely another story for another time.
But supper. It’s so Malaysian, right? Where do you go for supper? Or do you make your own?
Waiting to See Ah Steve
I’ve been his closet fan for years now, starting with his first play – Stories for Amah – back in 2002. Stories for Amah was both poignant and funny and somehow when Mark was introduced before the play began, he seemed so young!
Over the next couple of years, I forgot much about it until one day I saw this write-up in The Star about my good friend, Jana who was acting in a play with Mark. They both co-wrote the play which they did in their spare time hamming around during their lecturing days in a local college here in Penang.
Somehow, they managed to put up the two-person skit at their college during a dinner/showcase for teaching staff that they decided to go one step further – produce a REAL play. That was how Cheet Chat the play came about. Incidentally Cheet Chat made its rounds in The Actors Studio Greenhall Penang and all the way down to The Actors Studio Bangsar.
I met Mark during one of those ‘after show’ moments – Jana gushed about his talent and knack for writing up a play in supersonic speed! By the way, Jana is also quite a whiz at play-writing and directing. She’s now continuing her studies in Universiti Malaya, doing her Masters in Performing Arts. Though I miss her desperately (and miss our raucous makan sessions at Sri Ananda Bhawans) I know she’s living the life she always wanted – to act, to entertain, to provoke!
In the end, we all became good friends, and he has come over to our apartment for some Ti Kuan Yin tea and of course, a good reading of the tarot! For fun of course. (People get upset and all tensed when you mention tarot… why is it anyway? Tarot’s a fun way to break the ice in any group gathering and allows you to talk more about yourself.)
We’ve also hung around Sri Ananda Bhawans too many a time for lunch, tea, dinner and supper so much so we joke to the maitre’ d (or head of the serve staff, in regular lingo) should give us all some discount or membership card.
Sri Ananda Bhawans is this totally Indian banana leaf rice restaurant in Little India, Penang. I’ve happily promoted this place to friends and family and wrote about it in a piece I did for the print edition of The Western Australian News, Perth. Man, DO I love this noisy restaurant!
Anyway, Mark’s family still lives in Penang. For the love of acting and writing, he has moved to KL. Yes, that baby-faced boy does work too (even playwrights need to eat and live) and he is quite the teacher at a private education institution in KL. I last saw him when he trooped home to the island for the Raya holidays.
And I will be seeing that madhatter again this Friday. He’ll be here at The Actors Studio Greenhall Penang to present his new play, Ah Steve, for the weekend.
So yes, I will be there, all rah-rah (minus the pom-poms) to revel in Mark’s storytelling again. His stories are deliciously wicked, makes humorous jabs at prudes and religion and allows us to relax and laugh at our sheer Malaysianness! He is authentically Malaysian and you’ll love his Hokkien – he uses this loud language in most of his plays though English or Manglish is his favourite medium of communication.
So do book your tickets quick and go catch Ah Steve in action!
Note: The show will be staged at The Actors Studio in Greenhall, Penang from March 9 till 11 at 3pm and 8.30pm. For details, log on to www.theactorsstudio.com.my or call 04 263 5400.
Learn more about Ah Steve in The Star…
Snacks and Food of Kuching
It’s much easier for me to see the differences in food when I am in Kuching. I go with my Penang eyes anyway. Sightseeing aside, the local food in Kuching is quite different from Penang because they’re still quite traditional in many ways (read: not as polished commercialised as we Semenanjung people are). Each community has its own special food, either for celebrations or for regular consumption.
Below are some interesting snacks and food you might want to try the next time you are in Cat City!
“Bee phang” or rice cakes
According to my mom-in-law, these are eaten by the Hakka during CNY. They have various types: with sesame seeds, with peanuts, etc. I never knew this existed until Lisa (from KL!) told me she loved the bee phang from Kuching.
Bee Thor
I first tasted bee thor when my mom-in-law bought it from the local market. It is shaped like a teardrop, the size of a hand. Think of it as a flattened steamed pau – the ingredients inside can be savoury or sweet. Sweet ones have peanuts and sugar while the savoury ones include minced meat. I love the savoury versions. I can’t remember if it is a Hakka or Hainan snack!
Tebaloi or crispy sago biscuits
Tebaloi is a famous native (Melanau) food in Sarawak. It is made from sago flour and tastes nice and crispy like a thicker version of kuih kapit (which in Sarawak is called kuih sepit). It is a snack which locals don’t eat at all just like we Penang people don’t eat tambun biscuits or nutmeg unless we buy them for visiting or out-of-town friends!
Kek lapis or Indonesian layer cake
Visit any open house during CNY in Kuching and you will taste fantastic kek lapis. The beauty of this cake is not in the cake but the various designs and patterns which are revealed when the cake is sliced, eliciting awed oohs and aahs. In this regard, Sarawak Malays are creative in making kek lapis in different colours, layers and yes, designs! I have seen a whole recipe book dedicated to the making of this beautiful edible work of art. Never leave Sarawak without getting this cake. Yes, there are halal and non-halal versions. The halal version can be bought in Satok. The non-halal versions can be bought at any good bakery in Kuching.
Keropok udang with vegetable acar
It is a given that you will be served keropok udang or ikan in any Sarawakian’s house. The way to eat this is with the local vegetable acar or pickle made with julienned carrot and cucumber in a tangy base of spices. It sounds odd (that’s what I thought too the first time I heard about it) but the combination works really well. You put a teaspoon of pickle (usually served chilled) on the keropok. When you bite into the crispy keropok, you get a burst of tastes and sensations on your tongue: savoury and sweet and salty all at once. It works only with acar from Sarawak so get a bottle if you’re in any local market there. (Quick sidenote: Learn how to make instant acar from a Sarawakian friend of mine in the US.)
Kuching siew pau
Unlike the Seremban siew pau which we get here in the Semenanjung, the Kuchingites have their own famous siew pau. It is less polished, unlike its Seremban cousin, and looks ‘whitish beige’. The taste is more traditional too. But yummy nonetheless. Imagine it’s a siew pau that your grandma made – looks and tastes like that. Try the yam puff and curry puff too when you buy the siew pau. Legend has it that the two feuding siew pau makers along Carpenter Street in downtown Kuching (near Chinatown) make the same pau because one learnt from the other and then decided to open a shop next to her mentor! Of course everyone says the original pau from the original shop tastes better! You don’t have to visit the shop to buy the pau – you can get it just as easily from any coffee shop around Kuching.
“Umai” or raw fish salad
Umai is a native food made from raw fish. I first tasted this during the Rainforest World Music Festival many years ago at the Sarawak Cultural Village. I’m quite all right with raw fish since I do love my sashimi with a vengeance. According to a Kuchingite friend who works in Mukah (famous for its sago by the way and of course fat juicy sago worms!), any type of fresh fish can be used to make umai. Also, you can have two types of umai – one is shredded raw fish mixed with sliced onions, lime juice, salt, sugar and chillies or the other type which is plain sliced raw fish (akin to sashimi) eaten with a spicy chili dip. Both taste equally good, he says. This same person has also taken grilled sago worms. We asked if it tastes like chicken. He smiles and says that he can’t describe it – one must take it to know how it tastes like!
Sarawak laksa
Of course you must taste this when you are in Kuching. How can you not? The one I like is located at the 3rd Mile market, in a coffee shop which sells kolo mee too. It’s pretty addictive, this Sarawak laksa. If you start getting withdrawal symptoms, go to any Everise supermarket and grab a few packets of laksa paste. I’ve tried looking for the original brand – Swallow brand – but cannot seem to find it. I did find other unknown brands like Cap Helang, Cap Burung Bayan etc. Not tested so do not know if they’re any good. Or try getting Barrett’s laksa paste from their coffee shop at Bormill Estate if all fails. Barrett’s is the offshoot of the original Swallow brand. Don’t forget to get their sambal belacan too. Otherwise your sarawak laksa will not taste like sarawak laksa without the sambal belacan!
Pepper
If you don’t know that Sarawak is famous for pepper, you shouldn’t read further. LOL. Sarawak is the world’s biggest producer of quality pepper, for your info. Pepper is the king of spices and your black pepper steak will be awful without this spice. Get peppercorns for your friends and family because nothing tastes better than freshly ground pepper from fresh peppercorns (Especially ‘too thor thng’! Yum) Anyway, if you don’t cook but would like something peppery, try pepper sweets (which taste like mints so don’t worry). Or buy pepper perfume! Or buy pepper sauces in bottles. Where to get? Any supermarket in Kuching or any Sarakraf or tourist souvenir shop.
Salted terubuk fish
I love eating terubuk fish (American Shad) which my grandma cooks although the fish has so many bones that it’s terrifying! But the fish is lemak and lovely when braised with bitter gourd and black beans. However in Sarawak, they do the salted fish version. Sold in the Satok market, this fish is a must-buy. I have not tasted this salted terubuk though but I guess it would be like any other salted fish. Anyone tasted this and know how to eat it?
Midin or young fern shoots
Only in Sarawak you will get this at your local ‘tai chow’ or ‘chu char’ eating place. It is crispy and yummy when stirfried with garlic and out of this world when fried with belacan! Midin is a jungle fern eaten by locals. Nic says the pucuk pakis (like the ones you find in Tesco) over here is similar but NOT the real thing.
Kolok Mee
It’s a sin if I leave this out. Kolok Mee or Kolo Mee is a simple dish of springy noodles (very “Q” – a Hokkien term for extreme springiness!) with seasonings, lashings of char siew oil and slices of char siew. That’s it. So simple, so delicious! Unlike our wantan mee, it has no black soya sauce, it is not soggy, and it is not full of ingredients. It can be served dry or in a soup. Either way, the kolo mee is good because it has bite and the flavourful char siew oil gives it the added ooomph. You can get kolo mee anywhere, anytime in Kuching. I’ve become as much of a kolo mee fan as my husband. You have not been to Sarawak if you have not tasted this local dish. Yes, there are halal versions too sold by Muslims – it is topped with beef slices instead of porky char siew.
OK, this post is making me really hungry. I must stop or I’ll drool all over this PC!
Do you have any favourite food/snacks from your hometown to share?
Granted, Kuching isn’t my hometown (it is my husband’s) but I feel I know the place after so many trips there! Any Sarawakians want to add on to my list of snacks and food of Kuching?
Which Village Are You From?
I was in Kuching last week but now I’m back, though I haven’t really gotten into the work mode. Not yet anyway. Still a bit lethargic. Maybe it was all the CNY festivities and going about visiting my in-laws’ friends and Nic’s relatives!
Visiting and reciprocal visits is a big must in Kuching. Kuching is still a very community-minded place whereby everyone seems to know everyone and someone is always related to someone one knows! It’s even “smaller” than Penang. I thought Penang was bad enough – often I know someone who is someone’s cousin, uncle, friend, sister or what-not. Soon enough, I can trace their family tree back to one or two generations who may be some far off relatives of mine.
But Kuching… it can be a good and a bad thing. Like we were introduced to a guy who worked for a Kuching business magazine last week by a client of ours. Next thing we knew, Nic starts looking at the namecard and tells me, “Eh, the address looks familiar. I think I know who the boss of this outfit is.”
Sure enough, the “boss” of this magazine turns out to be Nic’s relative! In Kuching, there are many people with the surname Sim and this particular Sim is of the same clan as Nic.
Apparently these Sim people go way back – they can trace their roots to some kampung in China, a district or province (don’t know which) called Chao An! So these Chao An folks came by ship to Sarawak years and years ago (Nic is the 2nd generation Sim in Kuching – his paternal grandpa really came on a slow boat from China! In terms of lineage, he proudly proclaims that he is generation number 29 if he counts the starting generation from China).
I am ashamed to say I don’t know which generation I am although I do know my paternal grandmother came to Malaya at the age of 9. I do know that I am Toi Shan Cantonese and this dialect is only now spoken by geriatrics. Not many young people know this dialect anymore (damn, I am proud to be part of the ‘dinosaurs’).
Even in my family, only my dad, my younger sis and I speak this; it’s a convenient secret language between my sis and I whenever we want to bitch about people in public! My youngest sis has never picked up the dialect though she understands it well. She plain refuses to speak to me in that dialect, turning instead to regular Cantonese. My cousins don’t speak it either. But the funny thing is, it is such a beautiful familiar dialect but it’s dying out because no one bothers to teach their children. My uncles are guilty of this crime. They speak to their kids in English and Mandarin with smattering of Hokkien but no Toi Shan! A bigger shame!
My late maternal grandpa came from China too – I used to gawk at his red IC when I was a child and wondered why he never had blue ICs like us. Like most Cantonese, my maternal grandpa was a goldsmith in Penang for a number of years before he stopped working. My paternal grandpa (also deceased) is also Cantonese and was a tailor of fine suits at Leith Street. But that is all I know.
Which brings me to another issue: family roots. I’ve recently begun to ask more questions of my 88-year-old paternal grandma, or at least trying to ask her when she is in her more lucid moments. She floats in and out of senility but she is one happy senile woman. So most times I am left putting pieces of stories together, culled from recollections of my aunts and uncles, like a badly made jigsaw puzzle.
My aunts and uncles are all in their 50s and beyond so I had better ask them more before they start turning senile too. Many stories are stories of childhood years, in those days before TVs, handphones and the Internet. Many are stories of the early post-war Malaya, when people did not worry about locking their doors at night. I remembered one story where my 4th uncle as a child often sleptwalked! He’d walk right out of the double-storey house, but not before opening the grille door. He’ll sit himself down at the metal swing in the garden! Amazing.
But is it me or that the older I grow, the more I need to find out where I came from? It seems that way. Especially when I see 4 generations under one roof in my grandma’s home, and I think to myself, hey, I don’t REALLY know all their stories. I must start documenting them. I must.
So, do you know which village you are from?
True Love…Or Did You Pay to Be Slaughtered?
Yes, I am in Kuching now. The weather has been cool and rainy at night making sleep much more enjoyable! Other than that, did you celebrate Valentine’s day yesterday?
Nic and I detest anything that’s crass and smacks of commercialism. Valentine’s Day is one of them. Not because LOVE is trite or should not be celebrated. I think you should celebrate love everyday and not just romantic love. Love among siblings, love for your pets (yes, I can think of a whole list of my past pets which I positively adored!), love for your friends, parents, and yes, love for your partner, husband, wife, etc.
How about love for your environment too? That’s one of our fave loves anyway – we try to minimise use of plastic products, we carry our own shopping bag whenever we go out and we recycle paper, glass and aluminum as much as we can.
So really there are dozens of ways you can love. I find it utterly distasteful that most people have this narrow concept of love. Like some friends of mine who will pay and be happily ‘slaughtered’ by restaurants, florists, gift shops come St V Day. They MUST go all out – they must have roses, they must have a romantic dinner for two, they must have gifts. Despite the fact they could just do these things and more on any other day!
Anyway, whatever floats their boat. And heck, it’s their money.
I don’t want run-of-the-mill roses. Nor a fancy dinner. I am just as happy with a homecooked meal (the both of us are quite adept in the kitchen with our wok!) and a nice cosy down at home. I’d rather have a good massage than be battling crowds and traffic to reach a restaurant only to tuck in to substandard food cooked by some poor third-rate cook.
Nic and I had a different sort of Valentine’s Day last night – we took his parents out for a ‘chu char’ dinner nearby. It was memorable because the food was quite delicious (surprisingly as I thought the cook didn’t look too much of an expert). We opted for ‘chu char’ because his parents are more of the rice-type of people; they wouldn’t be happy in a western restaurant anyway. After dinner, we strolled over to the local supermarket because his parents had yet to buy all they needed for Chinese New Year.
So what’s this thing about declaring your love on Feb 14 and not any other day? You should celebrate your love every day and be grateful for each day you get to see your favourite people, friends, family and pets.
I chanced upon this article today and felt it appropriate to share with everyone about what happy couples and real relationships are really about. Not about gifts or trips or diamonds.
10 Habits of Happy Couples by Dr. Mark Goulston
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Happy couples know that the real relationship begins when the honeymoon is over. Unless you maintain a garden of love, it will grow weeds and its beauty will wither and die. So let’s explore 10 habits of highly happy couples:
1. Go to bed at the same time. Remember the beginning of your relationship, when you couldn’t wait to go to bed with each other to make love? Happy couples resist the temptation to go to bed at different times. They go to bed at the same time, even if one partner wakes up later to do things while their partner sleeps.
2. Cultivate common interests. After the passion settles down, it’s common to realize that you have few interests in common. But don’t minimize the importance of activities you can do together that you both enjoy. If common interests are not present, happy couples develop them. At the same time, be sure to cultivate interests of your own; this will make you more interesting to your mate and prevent you from appearing too dependent.
3. Walk hand in hand or side by side. Rather than one partner lagging or dragging behind the other, happy couples walk comfortably hand in hand or side by side. They know it’s more important to be with their partner than to see the sights along the way.
4. Make trust and forgiveness your default mode. If and when they have a disagreement or argument, and if they can’t resolve it, happy couples default to trusting and forgiving rather than distrusting and begrudging.
5. Focus more on what your partner does right than what he or she does wrong. If you look for things your partner does wrong, you can always find something. If you look for what he or she does right, you can always find something, too. It all depends on what you want to look for. Happy couples accentuate the positive.
6. Hug each other as soon as you see each other after work. Our skin has a memory of “good touch” (loved), “bad touch” (abused), and “no touch” (neglected). Couples who say hello with a hug keep their skin bathed in the “good touch,” which can inoculate your spirit against anonymity in the world.
7. Say “I love you” and “Have a good day” every morning. This is a great way to buy some patience and tolerance as each partner sets out each day to battle traffic jams, long lines and other annoyances.
8. Say “Good night” every night, regardless of how you feel. This tells your partner that, regardless of how upset you are with him or her, you still want to be in the relationship. It says that what you and your partner have is bigger than any single upsetting incident.
9. Do a “weather” check during the day. Call your partner at home or at work to see how his or her day is going. This is a great way to adjust expectations so that you’re more in sync when you connect after work. For instance, if your partner is having an awful day, it might be unreasonable to expect him or her to be enthusiastic about something good that happened to you.
10. Be proud to be seen with your partner. Happy couples are pleased to be seen together and are often in some kind of affectionate contact — hand on hand or hand on shoulder or knee or back of neck. They are not showing off but rather just saying that they belong with each other.
Even if these actions don’t come naturally, happy couples stick with them until they do become a part of their relationship. They know that it takes 30 days for a change in behavior to become a habit, and a minimum of six months for a habit to become a way of life and love.
You can subscribe to Dr. Mark Goulston’s Usable Insights at
http://www.markgoulston.com/list
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Hello Cat City!
I’ll be taking off for Kuching tomorrow…yes, for the CNY hols. Yes, the bane of married people. We go back to our husband’s hometown. Well, I go back for a while but scoot home to Penang as soon as I can – that’s because in Penang, I get to do the usual Chinese-y routines of CNY – M&M that stands for mahjong and makan.
What a potent combination right? Yes, didn’t you know? I’m Cantonese and CNY is nothing but the M&Ms. Of course in my husband’s rather (ahem) proper family back in Kuching, they’ll keel over if they see me cursing my way through rounds and rounds of noisy mahjong.
So in the spirit of CNY, and while I am travessing Peninsular Malaysia on the AirAsia flights (Pg-KL, KL-Kuching – ye gawd – while carrying tubs and tubs of festive cookies!) here’s one quirky piece on Kuching otherwise known as Cat City for everyone who has never been to that town in East Malaysia. And ya, now no need passport to enter Sarawak. Yes, very sure. I used to feel like an absolute dork with my passport at the Kuching Airport (passport in intra-Malaysia travel!) but now you don’t need a passport anymore. Yes, yes, believe me.
Here are some observations about Kuching and its people which I’ve been puzzled about for the past few years that I’ve been there.
1. It’s a fashion parade at the cineplexes of Kuching. People dress up for the movies. In Penang, we just go in comfy shorts and t-shirts.
2. Kolo mee and Sarawak laksa are breakfast favourites. Every local person will have his or her favourite stall to go to. Don’t even think of roti canai. You’ll need to hunt for it if you crave it. If you find it, it probably sucks big time.
3. Three-coloured tea is another copycat fave. The regular teh comes in a glass with three different layers. It’s hot because it’s a novelty. Every kopi tiam seems to serve it.
4. Kuching people like to park haphazardly, without consideration for others. They’ll doublepark without batting an eye. Told you the place was law-less!
5. Don’t like green-haired folks and blondes who aren’t Caucasians? Don’t say I didn’t warn you. Certain young folks in Kuching like to look plain weird. Green hair. Gold hair. Maybe it’s fengshui. Maybe they’re lost, or try too hard to copy other people. Maybe they’re just plain Ah Beng and Ah Lian.
6. Sarawak people don’t have politics like we Semenanjung people. They’re rarely talking politics. I suspect they don’t really care unless the policies affect them. Does that mean they’re docile? I think they’re comfortable with what they have. Not rocking the boat is the main thing.
7. Sarawakians call us Semenanjung people ‘roaches’ as in cockroaches. Don’t believe me? Go ask your Kuching pals.
8. You cannot find a decent shopping mall in Kuching. With all that land, one would have thought that they could build the biggest shopping mall ever. Nope, they like building 4-storey shophouses which are ugly as hell. That’s why the locals themselves fly to Singapore to shop. You get supermarkets like Ngiu Kee and Everise which are hardly vogue places to shop.
9. In Kuching, the locals have a quirky habit of eating siew mai with soya bean drink. How does a savoury meat dumpling go with a sweet, milky soya bean? I don’t know but it seems it is a standard of sorts there. Go to the open air market for this odd pairing.
10. Sarawakians are damn proud to be Sarawakians. No kidding. They get manic about their roots. When one Sarawakian meets another in a place other than Sarawak, they start going on and on in their own Bahasa Sarawak, much to the annoyance of non-Sarawakians. Patriotic, maybe. Maniacal, definitely.
More Sarawak stories to come once I get all settled in!
5 Things You Probably Didn't Know About Me
Hmm, I got tagged by cat-lover UnkaLeong and I guess it is good manners to write something, right?
But I’ve written much about myself in this blog of mine so I was thinking, what else don’t you (you refers to all my good friends, blog readers, occasional drop-bys, and family members) all know about me, MayaKirana?
But digging deep into my brain is a good exercise, particularly on a Wednesday morning after a breakfast of nasi lemak and teh tarik!
OK (takes big deep breath), here goes!
1. I’m 5 feet 7, weigh about 56 kg and yes, despite the leanness, I HAVE been trying to get the ‘spare tyre’ off me for the longest time. Doesn’t help that I’m glued to the laptop all the time. But, I bought 2 VCDs to help me – one on bellydancing and one on salsaxercise. And I promised to do at least 10 sets of agonising sit-ups each day. Yes, I am bloody vain too. I want those lean and trim tummy muscles!
2. I was once approached to be a model (OK, OK, stop sniggering you people!) when I was 18. I think it’s my height more than looks! I was in Petaling Street with my best friend one sunny afternoon and we were looking for STPM revision books (in Popular Bookstore) when a middle-aged Chinese guy stopped me and asked if I was willing to be a model. I was more shocked than pleased! No, no, no. I’m quite suspicious you see so I thought he was a pimp or something. And I knew what it meant to be a model – I had a friend who was one and it’s not glamorous if you’re not Heidi Klum or Naomi Campbell!
3.I used to wear really awful spectacles when I was young (started getting short-sighted in Standard Five and had to squint at the blackboard so much that my Dad got fed-up and took me to the optimetrist’s to get my eyes checked). I was so self-conscious about wearing glasses in school. When I had the chance and money, I got myself contact lenses. Never looked back since. But not keen on LASIK, no matter what my friends say. I won’t ‘slice’ my corneas!
4. I eat almost everything (duck tongues, phoenix claws, pig blood, chicken intestines etc) but I never eat bamboo shoots, canned or fresh! Yuck! The smell of bamboo shoots in any dish makes me want to faint/puke/die. Yes, strong reaction to one humble thing. Don’t ask why. On the other end, Nic adores them.
5. I used to play hockey and represented my school during my secondary school days! I think I like the viciousness of the game. I used to be so stressed out before the player selections each time the coach (by the way, why is it only Indian students take to hockey like ducks to water? Or why is it that Chinese students only play handball and basketball?) needed to choose the players to represent the school. I have a big fat ego and NOT making the team would kill me. Then again, I was (and I guess I still am) a highly competitive person, both academically and on the sports field. I hated being second best. If I can’t be number one, I’d get major stressed. It’s just in me I guess. All firstborns are like that.
OK, there you go. Five things you never knew about me, MayaKirana or since so many of you know me, OK, about Krista.
Now’s my turn to go and ruffle some people’s feathers and force them to go down memory lane or dig up some dirt.
1. Vern
2. Lydia
3. Marsha
4. Keatix
5. Hoyoyi
Off you go people!