The Rocks, Sand, Pebbles and Water of Life

When things get to busy, I try to take a pause and recollect and reflect. This is how I attain some form of peace in my life and also check myself, to see if I’ve been doing too much or “running” too fast.

Many friends I know often exclaim that I do a lot.

And yesterday, I started to believe it when I had to write and submit a profile of community work I had done to someone who was nominating me for something. The fact that she said she wanted to nominate me was itself an honour.

I read through what I submitted to her and realized I have been contributing in my own way to the development of women through WomenBizSENSE and then through the Penang State via Penang Women’s Development Corporation (PWDC).

Granted, I do sit on the board of PWDC as a director (I’d rather just call it committee member) but unlike most directorships where it’s clear who calls the shots and who does the work, the board of directors at PWDC is very much hands-on. I’m truly proud to be with some of the smartest women in Penang on this board.

I was nominated to sit on the board sometime in 2018 and I have taken my role quite seriously because I have come to realize too that women in decision-making roles can impact other women. I never take the role lightly as I know what I say or do can help a woman in Penang (PWDC runs many women-focused programmes as part of their goal to transform Penang into a more gender-inclusive community).

When friends tell me that I’m doing a lot, I believe them. I do quite a fair bit BUT and here’s the disclaimer, I am having fun!

I’ve always reiterated this be it to my mentees or friends; you always need to have fun at whatever you’re doing, pro bono or paid.

Paid is where business is and that’s where I also take it that I must have fun. If I am not having fun, it is time to change up the business or find a new focus or a new angle.

In pro bono work, I must always know that I am enjoying it. If I am not, something is seriously wrong and I could be the wrong one for the role. And yes, if it is not the right role, I will these days leave or at least let others take the helm.

In the community work that I do, I always remember why I am doing it. Fiscally it won’t make the money that can be made through commerce. But if I look at it non-fiscally, I know that the rewards are greater than the physical money. I’ve been amply rewarded with the kindness of friends and people I associate with and with it, a lot of trust.

One mentee told me recently that she was absolutely delighted to find out that I was her mentor in the Penang Women Entrepreneurship Mentoring Programme (that will end after 6 months this 31 March). She had heard of me and known my work way before she applied to be a mentee.

I spent every Saturday afternoon, 4 to 5 hours, virtually with my group of mentees together with a co-mentor Dr Intan beginning last October to coach and guide these fledgeling entrepreneurs. It wasn’t my first mentoring experience but it was interesting to guide 6 women. In the past, I’ve had at most 2 mentees maximum and our engagement was about a few hours a month.

I could’ve done a lot of things every Saturday from 1.30pm to 5.30pm but I chose to dedicate and give my time to help 6 women understand the foundation of business from crafting their mission and vision to building up their Business Model Canvas to figuring out how they would price their products, to developing their marketing channels and more. It has been intensely rewarding as I see them gain confidence not only in business but also in their presentation skills.

Helping people has always been in me. When I was 8 years old, my late mum used to berate me as I was on the phone helping a classmate, A, with her homework. A was rather lazy and never did her homework but at the last minute she’d phone me to ask for answers. In those days, the phone was a bulky, black device. I felt bad and wondered why my mum didn’t like me helping A. I guess my mum saw through A and wanted to prevent A from taking advantage of me.

But I constantly remind myself, that whether I am helping people or not, I have to take care of the rocks, pebbles, sand and water of life. Remembering this aligns me to what I need to focus on the most. Rocks represent the important things in life – family, health, spirituality and friends.

Pebbles are things like job, car, business and home while sand is just everything else that fills up the day. Finally water? That’s the recreation part of life. So if you’ve seen the video of how a jar can be filled up with all these four things, you’d understand how we need to take care of the big things in our lives first. That’s where the importance lies.

Many people take care of the pebbles and wonder they need to work so hard or fear so much (the fear of losing something and usually it is material). Many forget the rocks and later come to regret why they’re lonely or are ill or again, purpose-less.

I believe we need to strike a healthy balance between the rocks, pebbles and sand.

One of the most life-changing books I read just out of university was Robert Kiyosaki’s Rich Dad Poor Dad but unlike many, I didn’t rush out to grab the real estate so that I could rent them out to others. His book taught me about doodads – those useless things we think we need but really don’t. Many people honestly have too many doodads in their lives which sometimes can be those pesky pebbles that start to run our lives.

I have friends who bought into the real estate idea with so much enthusiasm that later on, they got into trouble as they feared not being able to pay for 4 mortgages (yes, I have friends with not one but 4 mortgages plus a growing family). I have a friend who tells me he wants to retire at 40 and run a non-profit (he’s sick of his job). I have another friend who wants to dispose of her KL apartments cheaply (as she can’t juggle the mortgages anymore).

See what I mean by taking on too many doodads? If you take on doodads and can handle them all, more power to you. But most people can’t and we wonder why all those “make money in your pajamas” or “make passive income” courses get so popular?

To complement that book, I also read Stephen Covey’s The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People which set the tone for who I wanted to be in my life. I believe I am an effective person because I chose to do what I believe makes me happy and fulfilled. These 2 books should be required reading for anyone who is fresh out of university.

These books helped me think smarter about the world at large and helped me see where I should place my focus on.

What about you? What has helped you become who you are today?

Virtual Launch Party for Womenpreneur Asia

Update: Below is the video of my podcast launch via livestream.

I had 10 women entrepreneurs join me live – women from Malaysia, Indonesia and The Philippines with lots of excited audience participation and prizes for quiz winners all in 1 hour 49 minutes.

The women entrepreneurs and CEOs who joined us live – Maresa Ng, Norhani Pacasum, Anushia Kandasamy, Nina Othman, Ann Wong, Marlienna Suwito, Ooi Lay Pheng, Dr Vimi Ramasamy and Anja Juliah Abu Bakar.

We also included a podcast listener, Lerk Shih, who called in all the way from Christchurch, New Zealand to give us her take on the podcast. And we had prizes galore too from our sponsors: STRAVIK, The Spark Group Asia, DG Consulting and SAGE Edu Tech!

We even managed to answer a quick question from a music school teacher who was struggling to keep her business afloat and Anja, Lerk Shih and Lay Pheng gave some really solid advice to Jennifer Eng.

This has been a superbly busy week for me. Still I am forging ahead with my virtual launch event on FB Live because there’s nothing like the New Year and excitement to launch something.

I was initially vacillating between wanting to do a virtual launch or not. After all, I had never launched anything online and live.

Then again, 2020 was an eye-opener for me. I did many things I thought I could not do or hope to do.

My women interviewees were too fabulous to leave alone and I had to bring these women onto my FB Live and introduce them properly.

They are just as excited as you and me.

I was talking to a friend the other day and yes, my podcast is for the everyday woman entrepreneur who wants to learn from other women entrepreneurs and be inspired (instead of feeling envious or jealous) to do even better.

I am not pitching high-flying, uber-famous women entrepreneurs for one reason – I want my audience of listeners to connect with my podcast guests like friends.

Like someone you could pull up a chair and talk to.

Someone you could aspire to become. And know that it’s doable.

Many a time, I’ve listened to some glamorous entrepreneur and I just couldn’t connect with what she had said. Her world was vastly different from mine. I felt like an outsider.

And when I started my podcast, I was intentional. I wanted this for Asian women entrepreneurs in Asia. Nic asked me if it was too niche. I said no. I had thought about this carefully and believe that Asian women in Asia are a formidable breed of entrepreneurs. And I want to speak to these women from Malaysia, Indonesia, Vietnam, Philippines, Singapore, Cambodia, Thailand and more.

Given how large Southeast Asia is, I could be doing this podcast for a long time to come!

(Someone did ask me if I would consider “women in Asia” even.)

Anyway, I decided to bring the women I interviewed into a launch event this Sunday, 4pm on fb.com/redboxstudio

That’s Malaysia time by the way. These days I have to mention GMT+8 as I have friends all over the globe who want to join me virtually. Virtual makes so many things easy!

We’d be doing a few things – taking questions and I also have a quiz where you can win prizes! I don’t want it to be typical; in fact, I thought of creating a launch video but vetoed it as I think I want to spend more time having a conversation with my guests than trying to do some form of “launch” that’s overhyped.

Give me a good conversation any day!

Come along with me to celebrate the everyday women entrepreneurs who are doing good in their own businesses and yes, come to ask them questions too.

Oh and here’s a comment a listener left me on Podbean, one of the podcast players. You can get my podcast on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts and more. Super stoked!

Thank you to this listener! Made me very excited and happy! See what comments can do? Please rate and review my podcast if you can on the podcast player that you’re listening on!

Womenpreneur Asia podcast – Launched!

Want to announce it here first on my own blog that I have today launched my Womenpreneur Asia podcast!

I am thrilled to bits that the idea that I presented in Hawaii last year has finally become as real as it can be. There is no turning back.

Yes, it was challenging because I had no technical idea how to get it done although I do work with tech a lot.

Audio tech stuff isn’t exactly my kind of thing. Until I decided I wanted to start the podcast.

Even then it was still a nebulous idea.

But the pandemic lockdown pushed me to really do something. I had come back from Hawaii in August 2019 and started on my research of microphones, podcast hosting, how to write a script, how to interview and more. And I didn’t know how to put it all together although I had a vague idea that it must start somewhere.

So that somewhere came at me when I subscribed to Streamyard in March this year when I was about to start my FB Live series. Streamyard enabled me to get a guest into the “studio” and record our conversation easily.

While I was scheduling and planning my FB Live, I was simultaneously scheduling guests for my podcast.

And my learning curve was steep.

And I didn’t have the USB microphone I wanted either so I made do with my Apple ear buds. Yep. You read right. I proudly did it with my Apple ear buds.

So have a listen. Be kind. It’s my first time doing this. (Oh and I launched it today because it is also my wedding anniversary. Been married for 18 years!)

Head on over to womenpreneurasia.com

Shall I Vlog?

I’ve been tinkering with this idea for a while now. I wanted to vlog more as it is a definitely something that is easy to do. I’m not really the in-front-of-camera sort but I do find that it’s easier for me to talk (actually faster too) than to write. I do love writing and nothing beats the written word. Even if I do vlog, I’ll be sure to embed the vlog into this blog.

The reason I ask is that of late, I have been hosting and interviewing clients and friends on my FB Live sessions and I find it less taxing although I have had to do quite a bit of prep work before the interview – marketing the FB Live (it helps if the guests are marketing-savvy but most guests aren’t) and doing a lot of the post-FB Live work after (such as downloading the video, editing off the intro parts and uploading to Youtube as well as doing all the needed backend SEO video work).

Then I embed the video into our blog. It does take time but I have come to a lovely little routine that I can manage quite well on my own. And after that, keep telling people to pop by and watch my FB Live on our blog. I mean, my business blog. Not this one.

(And then I hear things like – “We have 3 people on the back-end helping us with our FB Live” and I am just short of rolling my eyes. OK, maybe I have been doing this for a long time and I am an independent sort. Vimi said I was talented; I prefer to think I have skills and what I don’t know, I will find out and learn.)

Just to share with you, I was exceptionally proud of myself as I learnt how to edit my own podcast episode in Garageband. I never knew I could do it but after watching so many Youtube videos, testing and trying out so many things, I think I have figured it out.

The other thing is that since I write so much for our clients, it’s a lot harder for me to fire up the blog when the muse strikes. OK, so maybe I am a little lazy now but I want your opinion – would it matter if I spoke rather than wrote? What are your thoughts about this?

Will you still come by and hear me rant? 😉

Parallel Productivity

How have you grown since this covid-19 quarantine or lockdown? I saw so many friends sharing their cooking and finished dishes; some went full force into baking while others discovered newer recipes.

Initially, I was all gung-ho but then I realized that I’d rather spend my time elsewhere! I think I worked more during the lockdown and I have never been more productive business-wise!

My podcast interview yesterday with Zhafira Loebis, Indonesia.

So here’s a secret: I prefer working, strategising, thinking of what delicious projects I want to create rather than working up a sweat in the kitchen. It is also not a very good ROI for me as there’s only me and Nic. There’s so much of cake and muffins I can eat in a day. Hence, I’d rather support some local business and buy cakes from them!

I also conquered some of my fears – I went on FB Live so many times (the last I counted, I was on 9 FB Live sessions, 1 webinar of my own and 3 closed-door Zoom meetings where I had to present, host or moderate).

Mac laptop screen showing three women in a Facebook Live session
When I was invited to be on The Spark Group Asia’s digital marketing FB Live with Maresa Ng and Carol Fung.

I never thought I’d be saying that I actually enjoyed doing the FB Live sessions. I enjoyed talking to my guests – many of whom are clients and friends. (And the results have been incredible for some of them – Dr Somas immediately got swamped with appointments. But this was my intention anyway – to help our clients get some spotlight during this quiet time.)

When I first conceived of the idea, I pitched Vimi and immediately she said yes. We both can talk for hours so it was no surprise that our first FB Live garnered a bit of attention and eyeballs.

Mac laptop screen showing a slide presentation on Skype by Penang Women's Development Corporation
Jumping into a capacity-building Skype session to provide input for the JPWK ladies. Organised by PWDC as a closed-door session.

If you want to watch all the FB Live sessions, head on over to our Youtube channel. I’ve posted all the videos in Youtube as FB has this annoying way of burying all the good stuff under the more recent posts.

The lockdown enabled me to work on what truly mattered – my own projects. Over the years, I’ve struggled with this prioritisation. I had so many interesting projects on the side. But we also had to manage website projects for clients.

So this time, I put myself first. I started working on my own podcast while I was working on contacting people for FB Live. I tend to work on parallel mode now which means 2 projects can be running side-by-side especially if they share similar characteristics.

The podcast and FB Live share many similarities in terms of processes – contacting people, talking to them (prepping them before the recording or the Live session) and ensuring I have the questions ready days before. There’s this peculiarity among all my interviewees (even the seasoned ones) that they want to know what questions are coming at them even though they know how to answer them spontaneously!

I discovered this parallel method by accident. But it works for me as I get double the amount of work done, and double the results (or maybe even more). This is similar to batch processing which I also use when I schedule interviews to record. I aim for 2 interviewees in a day if I am doing interviewees that day (for my podcast). This gets me in the mindset of interviews and keeps the momentum going.

I discovered this method during my language learning with Duolingo. I’ve been a fan of using Duolingo to help me learn small chunks of language daily. I find that switching my brain to something non-business helps me relax and learning a foreign language is even more relaxing.

I was using the app to learn Spanish (have been doing so for more than 2 years now) until I realise I could add another language while I’m inside the app. I decided to add Mandarin. I speak it but I want to recognise the characters. Definitely my Mandarin is much better than my Spanish but I spend at least 10-15 minutes nightly learning both languages. There’s something about switching from “Yo no tengo vestidos verdes” to “Wo he lao shi zuo tian qu ta lan qiu” that makes my brain more alert. The patterns are different and that’s what invigorates mine.

One day I thought if I could learn 2 languages at the same time without missing a beat, what about doing 2 similar projects? Of course in business, we often handle multiple web design projects at a time but that’s something familiar that I’ve been doing for a long time (16 years to be exact).

As a result, I looked at my FB Live and podcast as learning projects. I am learning as I go. I am not completely familiar with each one but as Marie Forleo says, everything is figureoutable.

One of my proudest moments was editing my own podcast and through that process, I now know how to use Garageband! I literally recorded, produced and combined everything in Garageband so I was pretty pleased with myself. One achievement unlocked.

My podcast is in the process of being created as I am going to record all 13 episodes before launching it. This was the project that I presented in Hawaii last year during the Changing Faces programme. (I have recorded the episode where I explain the genesis of this podcast and what it means to me and why so you just have to wait and listen to it.)

A year ago in Hawaii when I was presenting this project to my peers and to Liz of the East-West Center, I had no freaking idea how I was going to make it happen. I knew how to communicate but that was about all I know. I had no idea what it took to make it happen technically. I had no idea what kinds of equipment/software I needed to do all this. I had planned to buy a mic but then COVID happened and I just made do with my earbuds and the mic that came with it. Just shows that it was never about the equipment. It was about me and my readiness to jump into it.

The figuring things out, the initial frustration, the technical setup – learning all these in the past 3 months is far more enriching than baking a cake. I still enjoy cooking and all but I believe my skills are far more useful in other matters – interviewing, researching, learning and pushing myself so far out that I’m hanging by the skin of my nails.

If you’ve never felt nervous doing something, it means what you’re doing is already bordering routine. It signals that you’re ready for something new, unexplored and nerve-wracking. What is that nerve-wracking thing to you? Go and make that happen. And when you made that happen, come back here and leave me a comment! Or email me.

Going Live, Day 28 and This Pause Button

UPDATE: See this for the FB Live replay and the 10 things I learnt while doing this FB Live.

I’m writing this on Day 28 of the Movement Restricted Order (MCO). It’s been 28 days since I stepped out of the apartment. I have not gone anywhere. I’ve been at home. And my hair has been growing longer and it irritates me as I like to keep my hair about two inches below my ears. I can’t wait for a trip to the hair salon.

When I was in Saigon, I was already telling myself that I should self-impose the 2-week isolation. I even messaged some clients to ask them if they were sure they wanted to meet face-to-face. One client told me, “No worries. We will have our thermal detectors and protection in place.”

I never managed to even step into her factory.

Because I got back on 15 March and then our Malaysian MCO started on 18 March. So the whole country was self-isolating anyway.

But I found the first phase of MCO rather refreshing in that it was a pause button. I could finally sit down to really look at the projects on my list. And by that I mean my own projects such as my podcast, my videos (which I had sent off to my video editing guy and never quite harangued him for them), my other books that I plan to write and my online courses.

Of course, I still had a website to deliver. Working on clients’ websites can be a lot easier than my own projects. Not that I’m a perfectionist. It’s just that I have a whole lot going on besides my own projects and clients’ websites.

There were WomenBizSENSE meetings to sit in and provide input – and this year we had grand plans. We wanted to organise our women entrepreneurship expo in September and had even had our first committee meeting. We had lined up monthly events and potential speakers.

And just like that, the coronavirus pandemic put all the plans asunder.

We cancelled the entrepreneurship expo and postponed the monthly events.

But that’s only one part. There was IABC, another organisation that I was part of. We had planned for a mix-and-mingle for business communicators at Olive Tree Hotel (I even got the hotel to sponsor the venue) and that fell apart too. Hmm.

Lots of events have been cancelled. And this is where suddenly digital becomes the most exciting platform ever.

For years, I’ve been telling friends – get online. Get yourself a website. Start marketing online because that’s where it is all going to be.

And what did friends do? Sit and twiddle their thumbs. They couldn’t be bothered as they were so focused on their daily meetings, sales appointments etc.

Now I should probably have the last laugh if I were that mean. I’m not but I can’t help but feel vindicated and a lot smug. Now they’re helpless and hapless especially those who thought going online was a lovely but not-so-important option.

A friend sighed and said that she didn’t have much confidence with the online world as she had only amassed three miserly sales since she started her website a year ago. How do you tell people that their website sucks? Of course it could only garner three sales. It was built by a millennial who used Shopify but didn’t know how to create credibility in a website.

Nic and I did an experiment once. We took an unknown tea seller from oblivion to RM4,000 per day in ecommerce sales. When we first started to build the ecommerce website for the tea seller, his brother smirked and said that we wouldn’t succeed. What did we know about tea? And Chinese tea at that.

I don’t have to know about tea or shoes or bags or tyres. But I certainly know marketing. I know how to build credibility and marketing into websites. That’s what Nic and I know a lot about.

I know how to craft compelling, descriptive and authentic website content. I know how the buyer thinks, what he wants to see and know before he puts the product into the cart for checkout. I know what inspires trust and how to build that into a website to sell your most niche products, tea included.

And this friend of mine explained that she only got three sales because she “didn’t know how to drive traffic to her website”.

I almost rolled my eyes.

That’s why I don’t like Internet/digital marketers who keep spouting rubbish like the need to drive traffic to a website. All the traffic in the world will do you no good if your website cannot convert.

But of course the digital marketers won’t say that. They’re in the business of selling their campaigns and traffic.

That’s why I am actually happy in a way about the MCO. People are pushed to use technology now, like it or not. They can’t say they don’t need it; their sales are dropping like flies.

I’ve also used this MCO to push myself to do the things I normally wouldn’t. Like doing FB Live sessions (and I’m doing one this Thursday).

I’ve done FB Live in the past when we used to run our Marketing Mojo events at China House Cafe. That was fun and for all of 3 to 5 minutes.

Now I decided to raise my game by committing to doing this more consistently. Of course there’s so many people doing FB Live every day. Some people do it on LinkedIn too.

I’m doing it because I bring my own unique perspective and personality to the whole FB Live thingy. I want my FB Live to be fun, informal, less pretentious, less about telling you what to do and more about sharing and commiserating and crowd-sourcing answers. I don’t want to pretend to know what’s going to happen after this pandemic is over. I don’t care about predicting the future. I’m only interested in my present.

I heard Dan Sullivan of Inside Strategic Coach say (and his podcast is one of the best if you’re looking for a podcast to listen to) say in one episode: In these strange times, you can’t plan for more than 24 hours.

Yet the uncertainty of everything in the future also means we have the full pleasure of living one hundred per cent right here, today.

That’s where I got my gumption to embark on FB Live but to speed up all the things I’ve planned but put on the back burner in the past.

I once saw this on a t-shirt and it said: I am smart. I am blessed. I can do anything.

And I take it seriously so there’s nothing I cannot learn right? Including how to do a proper live streaming to FB Live using a software called Streamyard.

I told a friend of this software and suggested she use it for the next round she intends to do her FB Live and she asked me, “Who’s your tech support? Can I ask my tech guy to call him and find out more?”

I chuckled.

“Babe, I’m my own tech support. If you haven’t realised it yet, the world is a-changing. Who needs tech support when I can easily find how-to vids on Youtube to learn all I need to learn?” (Speaking of which, check out this list of resources I collected.)

So you see, the new world isn’t about the old ways of doing things. It’s about taking charge of your life, seeing the world like you’ve never seen it before, taking action on what you seriously want to do. If jobs are no longer guaranteed, we’re all our own ninjas. We’re all in this mess together but to get out of it alive, the old ways of thinking have to go. (And instead of having physical meetings, we’re having Zoom meetings and actually having fun!)

In the corporate world, people banter about agility, resilience and more as well as disruption. Today, all these are no longer pure concepts. All of us have to embrace being agile and resilient (and in the words of Nassim Taleb, to be anti-fragile) and to find ourselves amidst the disruption of our work life and business life.

I love the peace and quiet that MCO gives me. I don’t have anywhere to go, no meetings to attend, no events to be at. I love it that MCO gives me more time to return to my old loves – cooking, pottering in the garden, crochet and yoga.

I love it that MCO gives me that big old push to do the very things I’m self-conscious about such as FB Live. I am thrilled that I have this extra time to ruminate and yes, even come back to blogging, a love that never dimmed.

I am also excited that we may finally have serious rethink how we’ve done business for the past 21 years. I am ready for a different phase of business; I know what I’m good at and I want to use my strengths to reach even more people through podcasting and FB and live-streaming. These days, I am my own media company. And that sums up the gratitude I feel for the Internet and technology.

I also want to teach more through online or virtual classes and courses. I’m not too shabby a teacher truth be told. And funnily, things have come full circle – I am a teacher’s daughter who refused to be a teacher and now I am going to teach.

Oh and happy birthday to Nic who turns 48 today. I’m always telling him he is so lucky to have me haha! During this MCO, I’m cooking a whole lot more and feeding him Cantonese dishes that I can recall my mum or grandma cooking. Each day, we ponder about what we’re having for lunch and he goes off to tar-pau the lunch we decided upon. I will cook dinner since I do have a well-stocked fridge. But sometimes I miss that freedom of going out to eat a bowl of Hokkien mee.

And I just watched Sam Hui hold his livestreaming concert two days ago on Youtube. We live in such interesting times.

I have nothing to complain honestly as I have all that I want and we’ve always lived within our means. I can’t thank Robert Kiyosaki enough the book he wrote; the book I read when I was fresh out of university but then again, I’ve never been a fan of material goods. I like them but I get bored with them easily. I prefer experiences and travel over the latest branded bag or jeans.

And you? What do you miss most? Or grateful for? Or what have you realised after 28 days of being at home?

Leading An Organisation of Women

An acquaintance asked me to answer a few questions regarding my role in WomenBizSENSE. Since I took the time to do so, I might as well put it here too. I believe in repurposing or reusing content, particularly for different platforms.

From left, Hayzel, me, Josephine and Jin Ting. We were interviewed recently by Guang Ming Daily for their International Women’s Day special feature.

What is your position in the organisation?

I co-founded WomenBizSENSE in 2006 with a friend, Josephine. I was the chairperson from 2012 to 2016 after we were officially registered as an NGO with Registrar of Societies. After that, I stepped down and I am now in the Committee as an advisor, as is Josephine. 

The 2020 WomenBizSENSE Committee

How would you describe your role as a leader in the organisation? 

I would say that it changes with time. When I was the chairperson from 2012 to 2016, I was actively engaging with the members and together with my committee, we would plan events that helped our members in their businesses such as give them more publicity, limelight or just ensure that each member knew each other and they did business with each other. It meant a lot of internal networking and ensuring members are happy.

Now that I am no longer the chairperson, I am freed up to do more external networking either with outside organisations (business and NGOs) and create more connections that the committee can follow up with. In a way, Josephine and I have become “ambassadors” for WomenBizSENSE. 

One of our sessions last year for our mentoring programme.

What motivates you to be in the non-profit sector/ non-governmental organisation?

I didn’t initially start out wanting to be in the NGO arena. WomenBizSENSE started because Josephine and I couldn’t find an organisation that truly met our needs as women in business. We felt that there’s much to be done for women in small businesses. We started without any funding; we literally self-funded the NGO until we started collecting membership fees. However, I am happy to say that over the years, we have grown organically through word-of-mouth and have great visibility in Penang.  

Mentors and mentees of the 2019 business mentoring programme

Can you describe the organisation’s objectives?

WomenBizSENSE is a registered women entrepreneur organization based in Penang, Malaysia. We’re a non-profit organization, run by a team of committed volunteers who comprise women in businesses and we help women entrepreneurs get access to the right resources they need to grow and scale their businesses.

We provide access through entrepreneurship visits and exchanges, expertise sharing, seminars, business opportunity sharing and charity fundraising. Our events are based on our 5 key pillars: Support, Education, Network, Social Responsibility and Entrepreneurship.

And why do you think these areas are equally important for women empowerment?

Women in business need support, education and the power of a network. They also need to realise that business is also a tool for good hence we have a social responsibility as one part of who we are in WomenBizSENSE. We organise social responsibility activities because we know doing good for others is innate in all human beings particularly women. 

Women who run businesses will be financially independent and financial independence is always important for women. When a woman is able to provide for herself and her family through her own resources and business, she is more confident and more empowered. She makes decisions every day as a woman in business. She meets people and gets to use her abilities to help her grow her business. 

Visiting locally owned businesses – this was at Marque de Luxe, one of our sponsors last year.

How does your organisation contribute to the economic sector?

We grow the economy when our members’ businesses grow and prosper. We have strict rules – we will only accept women as members if their businesses are registered with SSM which means their business is legitimate and pays taxes like any good, responsible business. I have seen also how women as employers are inclined to hire other women as employees. So it is a virtuous circle when a woman is a boss!

I have observed that a number of women in their 40s, after having quit their corporate roles, start their own businesses. I’m always excited for them as starting a business no matter how small is one way of being an active economic generator provided they start with the right business foundation. Too many women start out without any support, network or knowledge and this leads to a lot of hardship and struggling which makes them give up too soon!

How does your organisation fit within the Malaysian context generally and Penang specifically?

WomenBizSENSE certainly fits well in the Malaysian context as more and more women are looking to start or run their own businesses. However, they may not have the right support system or resources in terms of network or information and this is where our NGO is perfectly made to fill the gap. 

2019 Christmas Hi-tea for our members and friends at Jazz Hotel

What are the challenges do you have personally (as an individual) and leader in your organisation? 

As with every NGO, all our Committee members are volunteers. I am a volunteer. We volunteer time and energy to organise events (we have monthly events and major events like our anniversary dinner, charity event etc) but not all members are always appreciative of the work and effort and do not always participate or turn up.

I have had the unpleasant task of being on the disciplinary board many years ago to listen to the complaints of members against one specific member for her lack of integrity. As a team, we have had to make the difficult decision to terminate her membership as she was causing a lot of problems for a few members.

I have also had a tough time getting women to step up and lead as chairpersons. It’s not an easy role as the chairperson of WomenBizSENSE gets many invitations to speak by other organisations. She must be seen as an entrepreneur role model with good values and principles. 

Our yearly community event at House of Hope, Air Itam with senior citizens.

Being a woman, do you find any leverage or baggage?

It’s interesting to be a woman in business today. People are generally excited about women entrepreneurs and it can be leverage especially when our NGO is quite well known. I need to be an example to the women I mentor and to uphold the highest integrity in all that we do (especially because Josephine wrote a children’s book teaching integrity!). 

Members participating in an art event at the Special Children’s Centre.

Does Malaysia provide a supportive environment for entrepreneurs generally and women specifically to achieve their full potential?

Malaysia has many programmes for entrepreneurs but not all programmes are useful for us or tailored to what we want. That is why in WomenBizSENSE we took it one step further and created our own business mentoring programme to help our members as well as other women (who may not be our members).

Our signature programme opens once a year and runs for 5 months with pre-qualified mentees having structured training sessions and group mentoring. It is extremely affordable as we don’t intend to make money from this programme; it is simply our way of addressing a gap in the entrepreneurship market after observing our members’ problems and challenges in their businesses. 

Recent CNY potluck party at a member’s house.

2020 Changing Faces Women’s Leadership Seminar – Open for Applications Until 19 March

Update: They’ve extended the deadline to 19 March.

Remember I wrote and spoke about the life-changing programme I underwent in Hawaii last July? Well, I just got an email from the East-West Center that they’re now accepting applications from women entrepreneurs and social innovators from all over Asia.

Watch the video below which the center did about our cohort last year.

2019 Changing Faces seminar which I was a part of! I miss these gal pals of mine. We had such amazing moments!

The deadline is 12 March 2020 so hurry and send in your application if you’re keen to get a place for this programme. And of course, if you don’t qualify, please share this with the women who could benefit from this programme. Let’s pass the opportunities forward.

Theme:  Women as Innovators and Entrepreneurs

Dates:  July 4 – 18, 2020

Study Destinations:  Oahu & Hawaii Island

The 2020 Changing Faces Women’s Leadership Seminar focuses on the important role that innovation and entrepreneurship play in contributing to economic growth, job creation, and strengthening communities.

During this 13-day professional training, dialogue, and travel program, participants engage in a series of workshops focused on leadership and entrepreneurship that are facilitated by a noted women’s leadership trainer and the University of Hawaii at Manoa. Participants also expand their knowledge of entrepreneurship, economic growth, leadership, and community building through carefully selected field visits and meetings with experts, practitioners, business owners, and policymakers in Hawaii.

Participants are individually matched with local women leaders in a Host Mentor Program and, in return, Changing Faces participants act as mentors for a select group of high school students in a Next Generation Service Project.

The Changing Faces Seminar also provides training and consultative sessions to help participants develop and actualize a concrete Action Plan for the betterment of their business or their community.

Finally Changing Faces women serve as panelists, moderators and attendees at the publicly ticketed #galswithLEI, a purposeful, collaborative, and dynamic forum.

Who Can Apply

The Changing Faces Seminar targets female business owners and social entrepreneurs who have demonstrated leadership and ability to affect change and influence others in their communities.

Innovative entrepreneurs, business managers, government and industry policymakers, and civil society leaders with at least seven years of work experience and who play a leadership role in their community are eligible to apply.

Innovators may generally be defined as those who have created an original idea or product or are recognized for their ability to improve upon an original idea or system. Eligible countries include the United States and Afghanistan, Australia, Bangladesh, Bhutan, Brunei, Cambodia, China, East Timor, Federated States of Micronesia, Fiji, Hong Kong, India, Indonesia, Japan, Kiribati, Laos, Malaysia, Maldives, Marshall Islands, Mongolia, Myanmar, Nauru, Nepal, New Zealand, Niue, Pakistan, Palau, Papua New Guinea, Philippines, Samoa, Singapore, Solomon Islands, South Korea, Sri Lanka, Taiwan, Thailand, Tuvalu, Vanuatu, Tonga, and Vietnam. Women from Hawaii are particularly encouraged to apply! 

Applicants must have the ability to communicate in English in a professional setting. Preference is given to candidates with limited opportunities for international exchange and professional development as well as those who offer to cost-share programmatic costs. A phone interview may be conducted with finalists.

Funding: The 2020 Changing Faces Seminar is funded by the East-West Center, the Fish Family Foundation, and others. EWC plus individual scholarships will fund six to eight women from the United States and the Asia Pacific region.

A full scholarship for the 2020 Changing Faces Seminar is valued at USD$2,885/per participant. Changing Faces Women are all individually responsible for their roundtrip airfare to and from Honolulu, visa-related expenses, health insurance, and baggage fees.

Given the limited number of scholarships available, EWC strongly encourages additional cost-sharing of the programmatic costs.

For more information about this seminar and instructions on how to apply, visit  www.eastwestcenter.org/changingfaces

Pirates, Bookworms & Six-Figures Later

Decided to write this piece for posterity. You know how stories that get told and retold become unrecognizable a few years down the road?

I never want that to happen.

I want to write this story down so that you know the real story. Not some story that someone else tells and cannibalizes it until it’s a poor shadow of itself. I have seen this happen with a local church set up as some people take credit as no one knows the real story. And the person behind the real story is too humble to correct the incorrect story! (But not me. This is why everyone needs their own blog/website. You own a piece of online real estate that’s your best media and your own media. You get to tell your story. And it lives on the Internet forever if you don’t delete it.)

The BAC logo that Nic designed for the FB Group.

Until today, I still get calls from regular aunties and uncles (who got our numbers from the Guang Ming and Sin Chew newspaper write-ups) about donating books to our TSN BAC. You will see a video I created about BAC when you click this link – Taman Sri Nibong Book Adoption Centre.

Even as recently as last Saturday, a Madam Ho called and excitedly asked in Mandarin if I was with that centre that took in books. I, in my most articulate Mandarin (ahem), told her about our BAC and what we did with books that were donated.

She said, “Oh good. You all are not going to take my books and turn them into scrap paper right? I have very good books but I am moving so I have to donate them.”

See? That was my (and Nic’s) sentiments some 3 years ago when we went to the Tzu Chi Recycling Centre in our taman. The taman is Taman Sri Nibong, Penang.

We had brought our plastics and paper to recycle and we saw a volunteer tearing up books!

To bookworms, it’s a horror movie on its own.

Nic even asked the volunteer if we could buy some of the books. The volunteer said no outright. He said that all publicly donated recyclables had to be recycled. (I know, it’s a facepalm moment.)

Yes, they tore up books that people sent to the centre because they said it was the policy that all contributed recyclables were to be recycled. We even asked if we could buy these books but they said, no, it is a policy that they had to recycle the books, no matter how good they were.

In our minds, we were thinking, what a stupid policy! Either the person we spoke to wasn’t a real Tzu Chi member or if he were, he was not exercising his wisdom.

How could anyone in their right mind tear up books that other people could read? Whatever happened to reuse, reduce and recycle (paying particular attention to ‘reuse’ or repurpose)? And by the way, they were always talking about 3Rs – Reduce, Reuse and Recycle!

For the longest time, whenever Nic and I went to the recycling centre to drop off our recyclables we didn’t hang around much. I couldn’t bear the thought of good books being torn up and sold as scrap paper for a mere 30 sen per kilogramme!

We were upset with such a dumb policy and so for months after that, we just went to the centre just to sort out our own recyclables and didn’t really look in the direction of the paper scrapping section.

About a year later, we met with another Tzu Chi member whom we had spoken regularly to. He was a fatherly sort of man in his 60s by the name of Brother Goh. He was the second in command at the centre. One time when we were chatting with him, he led us to an area that was filled with boxes of books and asked us if we would like to do something with the books. Brother Goh had saved these books from being turned into mere scrap paper.

That was in March 2016.

Nic and I thought about this for a while and later decided to help do something about the mini-mountain of books. First, they had to be sorted. We started spending our weekends bent over hordes of books, separating them into English and Chinese books. Then we began to rope in EY who brought his daughters to help us sort books. It was messy, dusty work and we were often bitten by mosquitoes that lurked in the centre (it was previously an old food court that MBPP didn’t know what to do about so Tzu Chi leased it from MBPP to run the recycling centre).

We were given a small cubicle to arrange the books we’d sorted. Was it a library? Was it a free book section? How were we going to catalogue the books? What kinds of books were we going to accept or feature?

In the end, we decided that it was to be a book adoption centre. It was NOT a library given that we had no manpower to take care of the library nor did we have a catalogue system (and who was ever going to take charge of cataloguing the books?). It was not a free-for-all section as we wanted to give back to Tzu Chi.

A book adoption was the best system that we could think of. Yes, Nic and I thought about this and named it such and made it into a triple win system for the book contributor, the book lover and Tzu Chi.

Took my Kiwi friend, Olie Body, for a tour of the Book Adoption Centre recently when she visited me in Penang.

It’s a triple win because 1) you get a place to donate your beloved books, 2) the public that loves books get to have a chance to adopt books and donate towards Tzu Chi Penang plus 3) Tzu Chi gets the money they need for funding their dialysis centres.

The public loved the idea and that’s how we started to get so much publicity from reporters who happily came to interview us. We had NTV7, 8TV, Sin Chew and Guang Ming feature our BAC. The idea was novel and the fact that we were giving books a second chance and giving new homes to old books struck a chord with book lovers everywhere. (See Nic’s interview on TV when you click this link.)

We also started with a core group – Nic, me, EY and later, Alan and Eddie joined us. As our books started to pile up, we quickly ran out of space and we had to move from one cubicle to two cubicles and now, BAC takes up a quarter of the recycling centre’s space. That’s how many books we have in our BAC now.

When we had an official opening for our BAC, we pulled in a crowd and even NTV7 and 8TV reported about the uniqueness of our centre. We even managed to get our ADUN, Dato’ Saifuddin Nasution, to come for a visit.

Along the way, BAC started to grow as more people loved the idea and wanted to help out. We accept everyone willingly because there’s a lot to do in BAC. The physical centre needs managing too – from someone to water the plants and shrubs, sweeping the floor, dusting the books, sorting books, etc. Even the Tzu Chi recycling centre in Taman Lumba Kuda now keeps books for us so we get books from all sources.

Between me and EY, we started a Facebook Group called TSN Book Adoption Centre that is growing in numbers week by week. At this point in time, we have about 2,796 members from all over Malaysia. The volunteers who work with us also post up photos of newly contributed books in the Facebook Group so that online members or followers can ‘adopt’ the books. So it’s not just a physical walk-in centre, we’ve spread ourselves online too. And our books are in high demand because unlike a bookstore, we don’t know what kinds of books come in until they come in and are sorted! (Think of a treasure trove of books.)

So it’s like a fun adventure for all members online to stay glued to our FB Group, awaiting our VODs (volunteers-on-duty) to post up exciting new finds each weekend. They get to reserve the books for a flat fee and the books will be posted to them once they agree to contribute the amount directly into the Tzu Chi bank account.

Once the donation is given, EY and Eddie start the book packing process. Some book adopters are so consistent with their book adoptions that special shelves are allocated with their names. The reserved books will be packed, weighed and hauled off to Pos Malaysia by our strong man Eddie. When Eddie is unwell, we have a backlog of books to be packed! However, EY and Eddie are such a good team that most “orders” are sent out within a week or two. I call them our e-commerce team as what they do is essentially e-commerce.

EY basically is the COO of BAC. He arranges the weekly time-table for our volunteers, ensuring they turn up on time for duty. Duty means being there to oversee the centre and ensuring the public who come toddling into the centre know the rules of adoption.

We have had greedy and stingy people who sneak lots of good books out of BAC without giving a single cent. Once, I had to confront a woman in her 60s for taking out more than 20 books (“for her grandchildren” or so she says) and when I asked her pointedly and irately to donate, she said she had no money. There truly is no remedy for greed.

We have also had one so-called TCM practitioner who used to cart away lots of good Chinese books on medicine. EY later discovered that this same man was then selling these books on Facebook!

Because of these shenanigans, we have implemented a 15-book per individual policy.

But this blog post isn’t about the crazy shit that people do. It’s about something that I want to raise – about people in religious organisations. It’s the people that make things work and it’s also the people who make things worse!

We have always been transparent with the donations that we get from walk-in adopters, online adopters and adopters from our Occupy Beach Street as well as the children in schools when some of our team go to schools with books for the school outreach programme. To date, we have raised RM100,000 from BAC for Tzu Chi Penang. It is no small figure and no small feat. Imagine all these books being scrapped by Tzu Chi and sent to paper recyclers!

Nic, founder of TSN BAC, tells his story at our last gathering recently to the BAC volunteers

It was a perfect arrangement. When we started, Nic and I were not Tzu Chi members. We still aren’t. Organized religious bodies are not our kind of thing.

BAC started off as a rogue project, a pirate project if you like. We didn’t start with many rules. The only rules were – save books, give readers a chance to adopt and read books at a lower cost and prevent books from being scrapped and give the donated money back to Tzu Chi (since our source of books was from the recycling centre).

BAC is also successful because we started with few rules and we had the right factors in our favour (we live in an urban area, we had people who were middle-class and literate, we had volunteers who were folks who worked in the nearby multinational corporations, we had space to do this and a neverending source of books).

BAC is also what it is today because people believed in our mission of saving books and giving them new life and new owners. BAC is also an innovation that couldn’t have happened within Tzu Chi Penang itself because they themselves had too many rules. When you have too many restrictions, you cannot think out of the box. It’s the sad truth but this is what innovation is about – being roguish and a little bit pirate and everything ninja.

Nic and I came to the project without any rules in mind except one mission – to save books.

When I look back at the past 3 years and how we have become such a hit with readers across Malaysia, the money we have raised, the books we found new and good homes for, the team that came together for a mission, I am deeply thankful. (We had the chance to tell our BAC founding story to a group of Catholic students last year when we were invited as guest speakers at their church camp and we have also sent books to the orang asli in Negeri Sembilan who wanted to start a village library for their children. We have had volunteers who found more meaning in life by helping out at our BAC on weekends especially the young and single who want to do some community work.)

And yet, this is where Part 2 of our story comes into play.

I am writing Part 2 of this story because I want people to know the truth about people, power and control.

For the longest time, as a rogue project, BAC was called TSN BAC where TSN stands for Taman Sri Nibong – the place we are in. When we concocted the name, Nic and I believed that as a rogue project, it is good to distance ourselves from Tzu Chi because what we were doing didn’t fit into their rules.

Originally they said that they HAD to scrap and tear all books that the public brought to the recycling centre.

We figured that this was a stupid idea and policy. Where’s the wisdom in doing so?

As a rogue project, we could be a separate entity to do what they couldn’t do or be seen doing. Most of our volunteers weren’t even Tzu Chi members; many were friends of mine who had seen and heard about the project and wanted to be part of it. They really didn’t care much for Tzu Chi, truth be told.

Things started to get disturbing when some of the volunteers went to schools for the school outreach programme. They were asked to wear the Tzu Chi vests over their BAC shirts. Apparently, if we were out to collect donations, it is best to go out under the Tzu Chi brand. A few of our volunteers were really upset as they were not Tzu Chi members!

Once BAC started to grow in popularity and became more well known than the recycling centre, one person inside Tzu Chi decided he was going to set the rules. He said that now BAC was under Tzu Chi. He claimed this project (which was created and started by Nic and I) to be theirs. That wasn’t the part that riled us. The part that pissed me off completely was that we couldn’t reprint or redesign new BAC t-shirts for the volunteers!

I understand how little Napoleans work. Before the project was successful, he didn’t care if BAC lived or died. Now that the revenue from BAC was far more than the recycling centre, people started to take notice. This particular person decided to claim it all for himself and park BAC under Tzu Chi. I really don’t care much but what they forget is that if it was still a rogue project, they had lots of leeways. If it really parked under Tzu Chi, they have some major problems they cannot explain or solve.

Why couldn’t they leave BAC as a rogue project and happily pocket the monthly RM5K to RM7K that we were bringing in to them? By the way, our BAC is the one and only book adoption centre in all of Malaysia and the only one in Tzu Chi so much so that other Tzu Chi chapters such as the one from Melaka came to study our model. Unfortunately, they haven’t replicated BAC yet. It looks simple but it takes the right thinking to get it started.

Because we are the one and only BAC in Malaysia and perhaps even globally, I can see why this person wants to claim this rogue project as his own – conveniently forgetting to inform the people in Tzu Chi Taiwan that two non-Tzu Chi people thought of this brilliant idea.

Now here’s the dumbest part.

One day, someone from Tzu Chi Taiwan came to visit BAC. He spotted a book with a so-called unsavoury cover. He started questioning the people in charge why such a book is allowed in BAC. We accept all books of all genres even holy books like the Quran and the Bible. These books are donated by the general public. We believe that you should be given a democratic choice in deciding what you want to read or adopt. This is not the Tzu Chi bookshop. At one point, we had lots of Japanese manga and again, this disturbed the higher-ups as manga contains graphics that offended their puritanical sensitivities. If they had let BAC stay a rogue entity, they could have easily wash their hands off such issues.

But money, fame and power are so addictive and enticing.

I’ve stayed away from the BAC now for these reasons because it is so disappointing to know that the very folks who talk about “gan en” (gratitude) or helping others are just another bunch of hypocrites. Nic and I are slowly removing ourselves and distancing ourselves from BAC now as the internal leadership is nothing but a farce.

I am thankful for my own space in this blog that I can write about this openly. I want others to know this story and see for themselves how people who are selfish will always be selfish no matter which organisation they are in, religious or otherwise.

Nic and I have created and started many initiatives in business and for our community and this is but one of them. We have some interesting plans for 2020 with regards to our original mission of saving books. Stay tuned.

We decided that BAC now is no longer the original pure BAC that we envisioned. It’s a tragic truth but with all endings, new beginnings arise. There’s always opportunity and this may be a blessing in disguise for me, Nic and some of the pioneer team members.

Here’s the uncomfortable truth that Tzu Chi Penang doesn’t want to hear – Nic and I started BAC because we didn’t like seeing how the Tzu Chi volunteers at the recycling centre were tearing up books! They were just very good rule followers, never once questioning the archaic and ridiculous practices (this is exactly why innovation is about being rebellious – you can’t work in the system that locks you down and shuts you up).

In the future, they would erase the founding story too precisely because they can’t tell the founding story as by telling the founding story, they would be branding them as rigid, unwise and inflexible. You see, that’s the problem with claiming something that’s not your own.

Anyway, I’m optimistic about our next phase with our BAC – no one can stop a good idea from spreading and in 2020, we will share with you what’s brewing. And if you are interested to be on our pirate ship, contact me. We won’t make you walk the gangplank but we are surely geared up for a damn good adventure!

The BAC team of volunteers today. We have grown to 30+ volunteers.

The Cup That Changed My Life

Recently I discovered something that truly was life-changing. Now I don’t often say this. I’m not the type given to hyperbole and such. I rarely use the word “awesome” as I think it’s blatantly overused and sounds inauthentic.

I discovered something that made me look forward to my periods each month!

Actually I didn’t discover it.

I was given the product.

Olie’s Wa Cup – a remembrance of my special trip to Hawaii

Remember my Hawaii trip? Well, on that trip, I met Olie Body who is like a total Energizer bunny (you can watch her TEDx Wellington talk too). She was in our Changing Faces programme and the first time I saw her, she was hunched over her laptop in the lobby of the dorm that we were staying in.

Later we became good friends to the extent that I was holding her wet bikini bottom while standing on the streets of Waikiki! (Side story that’s hilarious and shows how spontaneous this gal is! – Olie had stripped down to her bikini and ran into the Waikiki sea with Tina, another friend that Friday night after we had danced at this American club. When she got out of the sea, she was dripping wet but she removed her bikini bottom as she was wearing undies under it. As I was going back to the dorm first I said, “Let me take your bikini bottom back with me” because she and Tina were going back into the club for another bout of dancing.)

Olie is as fascinating as she is brilliant and this New Zealander is as adventurous as they come. Do you want to know how brilliant she is? She managed to get herself into the Obama Foundation Fellowship Programme for 2020.

Well, I was having my period almost at the tail-end of the 2-week Hawaiian programme. My period wasn’t due for another two weeks but then again, staying in close proximity with 15 other women probably regulated our menstrual cycles that mine came a little early.

Luckily I had some sanitary pads with me but I knew I would soon run out. I went around asking my fellow Asia-Pacific friends for extra sanitary pads until Jaruza said, “Why don’t you ask Olie for the menstrual cup?” 

I was like, nope. I wasn’t mentally prepared for it. 

wa collective menstrual cup
The WA Collective menstrual cup

During our programme, I had heard Olie talk about the menstrual cup. After all, she ran a business – a social enterprise – that straddled the environment and women’s health by offering menstrual cups as an eco-friendly option to sanitary pads. 

I was intrigued by her love of this silicone cup. Shihoko, another fellow participant, also gushed about how she had been using one for the last 10 years and it was liberating. (Yes, the cup can last a decade.)

On the final day of our programme, I braved myself and asked Olie if I could buy one. Olie didn’t even want to hear of it; instead she gave me one as a parting gift!

When I came back, I couldn’t wait for my next period. I knew I couldn’t waste the gift. The first time I tried it, I felt uncomfortable. I could feel the stem of the cup poking out. Insertion wasn’t too difficult despite my initial fear that the cup looked too huge to go into me. After 2 days of using it and anxious about the discomfort, I went back to my pads. 

During my next cycle, I tried it again. This time, I had more confidence as I had spoken to Joanne, a friend who unashamedly that she is now a big convert of the cup. She was so excited that she even bought them for her sisters, egging them to try. I reassured her that I would try the cup again. 

It actually became easier once I got over my hang-ups about the menstrual cup. So now I go around advocating the use of the cup as it has brought me a new level of freedom that I didn’t know I had missed all this while. Pretty big claim huh.

The second time – it really became easier. I couldn’t believe that my other women friends were absolutely nailing it while I was like still unsure. So I watched a few videos and landed on a particular Youtube video where this woman was sharing her own agonizing moments and finally how she managed to insert the menstrual cup. 

She gave a huge tip which was my biggest a-ha moment – use your Kegel muscles to draw the cup into you! Now why didn’t I think of that! 

The type of fold mattered too. I used her punch-down fold and tried the “sucking it in” with the Kegel muscles technique and it worked! The cup literally disappeared up my vagina. I couldn’t feel it nor see its stem. And it didn’t feel uncomfortable either.

It felt like…nothing.

That was my defining moment. I was like, “Woah, where have you been all my life?” 

Using the cup, I can roll and toss on the bed at night and not a drop leaked. The cup forms such a tight vacuum inside that I have to “release” the air in the cup first before I slowly pull it out. (And if you don’t, you feel like you’re tugging at your insides!) At times I even forget I am having my period! 

I’m now like one of those mad cat ladies – I gush about the menstrual cup to any woman I know.

Yes, yes, the initial fear is paralyzing and you think the cup is too huge to be inside you. Or you think it’s disgusting to put your fingers inside yourself or be turned off by the blood that’s collected in the cup. Or the amount of blood. Or what if the damn cup gets lost and you can’t even feel the stem? 

The cup won’t get lost as there’s only one passage in you. It may ride higher but it certainly won’t be lost like a tampon losing its string. Unlike a tampon, the cup collects blood and doesn’t dry you up inside. 

I can now walk past the sanitary pad aisle in Jusco smugly. I never ever have to buy pads again and never feel guilty about all those pads piling up in the landfill. I can travel without worrying that I didn’t bring enough pads. I can have my period without feeling like the whole world knows about it.

And I can wear the clothes and pants I want without having this fear that I might just stain them! (Once I got my period while in the middle of a meeting with some very important people and I couldn’t even concentrate on the meeting as I felt wetness seeping through my skirt!) 

And yes, I nailed it in my third cycle after Hawaii and I am now a super proud user of the WA Collective menstrual cup. Olie’s product truly changed my life and now I actually look forward to having my periods. Crazy huh? 

There are sizes. I’m definitely NOT under 30 years of age but I have never had kids so this was the cup for me.