Warning: The magic method GAINWP_Manager::__wakeup() must have public visibility in /home/redbox/public_html/wp-content/plugins/ga-in/gainwp.php on line 78
9 - 2022 - Maya Kirana

Our Book, Step In, Is Finally Published!

Yes, the book that I had been working on has finally seen the light of day. This is a late post as I had drafted it but no thanks to many other things, I forgot to put it up on this blog.

For the longest time, Emi, Jo and I had struggled to complete our women’s stories anthology. Not because the stories were incomplete. They were. Not because we didn’t want to. We did. Somehow we slowed down and while we could blame covid, it didn’t seem fair to the contributors who sent in their stories.

I myself spent so much time interviewing and writing the stories that I was jaded. I couldn’t re-read another line. I couldn’t even catch my own typos or grammar mistakes anymore. I was THAT weary!

Finally, we decided we had had enough of wanting perfectionism and just pushed the ‘baby’ out into the world. We could’ve gone on to tweak more, fine-tune, reread and refine the book but enough was enough.

We chose the title Step In because many years ago, we were inspired by Sheryl Sandberg’s Lean In. We even emailed Lean In to ask if we could use that term in our title. Lean In is a copyrighted term so we had to figure out what to name our book.

The three of us had many brainstorming sessions and finally, we decided on Step In. Instead of just leaning in, why not step in? Step In as a concept gave us some fun imagery as well – we used our own shoes in the photography (and you will see many of these colourful shoes in the pages of the book too).

Women can step into any role if she chooses to. Whether she wears high heels, flats or trainers, she can be whoever she wants to be.

For the book cover, Emi persuaded her daughter to be our model and they had to wake up before dawn to rush to Wawasan Open University just to get that perfect early morning shot with all the various shoes on the steps.

The behind-the-scenes is just as exciting as the book we published. We also had a separate photography session with another photographer, bringing our own shoes so he could shoot the shoes for the inner pages of our book. That session took half a day.

Then we also had to figure out the women whose stories didn’t quite fit the book. We started out with 30 women that we interviewed mostly (most people cannot write and if they did, they usually wrote a long memoir which isn’t the point of this book).

So if you are ever going to produce an anthology like us, be smart. Don’t solicit for stories unless you know that the person you solicit from is a remarkable writer. Otherwise, factor in the time and get down to interviewing them. It’s easier this way as you know exactly what you want to highlight in the story.

Some women, after we interviewed them, decided they DIDNT want their stories published. They retracted their stories. Yes, it was crazy! Maybe some women didn’t feel that they could be as vulnerable as they wanted to. Or some stories revealed too much. Who knows?

I had 2 women pull out this way. One was a general manager of a multinational corporation. I sat with her for 2 hours, spoke to her, took notes, and wrote the story and after multiple edits with her corporate comms, she didn’t want her story featured.

Another woman wrote her own story and later decided she didn’t want to be featured.

For the first woman, I felt I had wasted my time and energy. This was a pro bono book writing effort. But I told myself, it was OK. I learn, I live and I move on.

It was not easy cutting stories out of the book. But we had to. Some just didn’t fit the theme of the book.

The thing with producing a book is that we could go on forever editing the book. At some point, we decided to just get on with the book layout and design. It was time to put our baby out into the world.

Scary huh?

It was scary because it was an anthology of other people’s life stories and we wanted to get their ‘voices’ right and yet have a strong message that would touch the hearts of our readers.

I didn’t want to bore readers (I’m a big book fan so I know when books bore me and I get so distraught if I don’t complete reading a book that I started. I’m now better at relinquishing books halfway but it was incredibly hard in the early days).

Coming back to the book, we managed to organise the book launch on our own on 5 June and to this, I take my hat off to Emi who really is a workhorse! She rallied her daughters to help and in between producing the launch gimmick (with balloons), checking the printed books and preparing everything for the book sponsors, book contributors and schools!

Check out our video of the book launch. The book launch came together beautifully despite the fact that I was late and the parking attendant refused to let me park along the road. I was late because I had been with Emi all morning at the venue doing the launch set-up and then drove home to shower, get prepped and drive back to the venue.

And yet I managed to calmly and confidently moderate the short session with Dr Vimi Ramasamy, Den Chiew Fung and Dr Florance Sinniah during the launch. The things women do!

If you want the full story, it’s best to read the article that Buletin Mutiara published. Such a lovely article with lots of great photos.

Our book is available as an ebook internationally if you can’t get the hard copy book (since the hard copy is available only in Penang at the moment).

PRINT COPIES OF THE BOOK ARE AVAILABLE AT:
1) Precious Pages Resources, 19b, Codrington Avenue, Penang (order here)
2) Penang Women’s Development Corporation https://pwdc.org.my

EBOOK For International Buyers (in US Dollars)
https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/step-in-emi-yamazaki/1141886086;jsessionid=3F68BFD4094A4C4D2E31C65213293F91.prodny_store02-atgap09?ean=2940166603135

EBOOK for Malaysian Buyers (in Malaysian Ringgit)
https://teaspoonpublishing.com.my/shop/step-in-ebook

Emi and I believe this book has something that can be turned into a movement. That’s why we want to go to schools and colleges to talk about the book and feature some of the women we’ve interviewed. If you know of any schools or colleges that would like to support this book or the female empowerment agenda, please contact me!

Today I Tried TikTok

These days I try to keep an open mind about the stuff around me. And yes, today I tried TikTok. I downloaded the app some weeks ago, checked out what videos are on the platform and initially I wasn’t impressed as I was shown a lot of Malaysian videos. I didn’t like those videos because they bordered on trashiness. Yes, I said it. Some of the videos are time-wasters.

Then I searched for people I know from other platforms and luckily I found a few familiar faces.

I followed them and then the videos on my page began to improve. TikTok probably learned that I didn’t care too much for tabloid videos. I started following some communicators, entrepreneurs and social media folks so my video feed improved. (I saw one Malaysian girl with 2 million followers on the platform and I didn’t like her videos at all! Was it funny? Supposedly. Was it useful? No. I felt I had wasted my time scrolling through her silly antics.)

I started asking myself why I was resistant to TikTok and I figured out that I don’t want to waste time. I like making the most out of my time as I am involved in my own business a lot. I like being effective.

I don’t like doing challenges or dance videos or lip-syncing. Trying to get attention for attention’s sake is not what I’m after.

But I do like to try and get a feel of how different this platform is compared to Instagram. And I like being my own guinea pig and figuring things out as I go along. So today I uploaded my first TikTok video.

So what tilted the balance for me?

Exploration and discovery. I don’t know this platform at all and going in with a newbie’s eyes can be thrilling. I have no expectations but I think I can give myself this opportunity to learn and see if it fits me and my personality. I want to use this to market my podcast – I already have audiograms so let’s see if this platform helps with the listens and downloads.

And anyway, I can always use my experience to help my clients because a lot of us are in our 30s and 40s and while I may not always understand the millennials today, I can try checking things out for myself and see if I like it.

The Rudeness of Some People

Why do people have to be rude? Do they get some secret thrill in being obnoxious and mean to others?

I was thinking about this over breakfast because a friend working at this week’s WCIT 2022 (the World Congress on Innovation and Technology) that’s happening in my part of the world texted me in a huff today.

She is in events and speaker support and part of her role include keeping panellists and speakers taken care of. One particular speaker, a Malaysian woman no less, was utterly rude and “bitchy-faced” to her.

I know this friend and she has been in the events management space for 18 years and has handled all kinds of people from dignitaries to celebrities in all sizes of conferences. She is no newbie to the job.

And that’s why I felt sorry for my friend. It’s the first day of the three-day conference and I’d be upset too if I got such a meanie in my face early in the morning.

What is it in people who can act all uppity and mean and think it’s OK? Are these people lacking a kindness gene or a be-nice gene? What kick do they get out of acting like a prima donna and having their bad reputation get all over the place? Is it a fun thing to do early in the morning?

I had my fair share of meanies too. Once I was recommended by a university friend to contact her long-time friend, A. My friend said A would be perfect for my podcast. I decided to call A after texting her and we agreed to speak.

On the phone, A sounded OK except that she started acting bitchy about 5 minutes into the call. She said she was already widely featured in the media and in no uncertain terms seemed to say, “So how big is your podcast again?”

I told her my podcast wasn’t big – I had just begun in 2020 and I was looking for exciting women in business to spotlight.

She scoffed in my face.

Yes, this Malaysian woman who thought so highly of herself was utterly rude. When she realized she was rude, she tried to backpedal but I said, it’s OK, we don’t have to do anything together.

When I got off the call, I asked myself, what is it with some women who won’t help other women? I was trying to explain to her about my podcast and its purpose but she didn’t think it was big enough for her.

I never give rude people second chances. I swore to myself that I will NEVER invite her to be on my podcast. I have interviewed many women in business and many are just regular women who have no airs. They’re down-to-earth, humble and happy to share their stories. Even the ones who have been interviewed a gazillion times by other media.

But I take the rejection as a lesson for me to be smarter in choosing who I wish to interview and spotlight. Why should I give the spotlight to someone who doesn’t deserve it? Someone who thinks she is better than all of us?

I reminded myself that for that one bitchy woman who derided my request that there are hundreds of other women who will be supportive and even grateful.

Why do some women have to be bitchy to one another when we know how tough it is to do what we each do?

Why do some women compete when they can collaborate?

Why do some women feel compelled to show off and act like the queen when it’s not warranted?

Are these women insecure?

So if you’ve had experiences like mine, I need to know, how do you handle rude people?