I got a call from M, a friend I hadn’t spoken to for a long time. She called to say thanks for thinking of her and by that she meant the postcard I sent. She’d received it and felt appreciated and thought of our friendship.
Throughout our 20-minute phone call, she kept saying how thankful she is, that I didn’t ‘give up’ on her. You see, we belong to the same group – actually a business networking group which a friend and I started two years ago. M was one of the earliest friends I met at our networking teas but she kind of drifted off and never attended our gatherings after that one time.
I had lunch with her one day where she told me her story, how she came to inherit a business she didn’t want, how she had bouts of depression. That was maybe a year ago.
I had heard from another friend that M was suffering severe depression and had a husband who didn’t treat her with much kindness. The last I heard, M had gone off to KL for a month, to think things through about her family and her business.
It’s tough when you hear such stories about friends.
But the call yesterday was surprising and refreshing. She sounded much calmer and dare I say it, happier. Her voice tinkled.
She kept saying thank you to me and how I didn’t ‘forget’ her even though she has hardly been coming to our WomenBizSense meetings.
“You are so positive and encouraging! Most people are not this way. Especially my family.”
I can still recall that burst of gratitude from M as she said this over the phone.
When the call ended, I thought to myself – why aren’t people more supportive and encouraging towards each other?
Especially family.
I am an optimist. This I know for sure. I can be down in the dumps for all of 10 minutes before I start berating myself about it and end up bouncy and soon I’ll be in a better state of mind. I like a good cry and I like getting all weepy and sentimental but that’s like a passing cloud. Once the cloud leaves I’ll be right as rain.
It’s easier being an optimist and people love being around you because you are a burst of sunshine. Far too many people wallow deep in negativity. They like shooting down other people’s dreams. It’s easier to live life this way – you don’t get your hopes too high because what if you don’t get what you want?
Ya and go through life being a wet blanket! Duh!
I have always felt that it’s good to encourage friends’ endeavours particularly if they’re practical and meaningful. I always say, go for it. I never discourage. I think life’s more fun when you think you can reach for the stars.
But maybe I’ve had the good fortune to be brought up by parents who believed in me from very young.
They never told me I couldn’t do anything. If I said I wanted to be Supergirl, they’d probably say, OK, go for it. In fact they always supported me in whatever mad things I wanted to do but most times they listened to a young gangly girl of 8 – listening to me as I begged to be sent to boarding school (I can’t believe I wanted that and that’s mainly due to my best pal’s mom who wanted to send HER off to one), how I wanted to start a pet centre right in school, how I wanted to learn gymnastics so I could be like Nadia Comaneci. I wanted to be a lawyer when I was 16. I told Mom and she nodded. Not a word of discouragement. The list went on.
But that didn’t mean my parents were indulgent. No, far from it. I got my share of rotan when I was young, mainly because I refused to go to school and I was chased by Mom right into my favourite hiding place till the coast was clear – the bathroom! I still got nagged like crazy when I was in Form 6 because I missed curfew – my Cinderella hour was famous among my friends. If I got home past midnight, man, I’d get it from Mom immediately.
Mom was strict but my parents never said no, you cannot do it.
No such negativity escaped their lips.
I was always told to try out for things I wanted (joined storytelling contests even though I sucked in telling stories!).
I was always given the freedom to choose what I wanted (from switching to Arts Stream in Form 6 after 2 years in the Science Stream, taking English Lit when no one taught the subject, made up my mind to enter USM when I was 16 etc).
I was always taught to make decisions on my own and stand by them.
And if things didn’t go right, figure out why and keep getting better. (It helps that missy here loves a fine challenge. I hate being challenged but when I am challenged, I am in my ‘in the zone’ mode.)
But seriously, challenges aside, most of us always think that we have to do big, impactful stuff to make our mark in this world.
It’s not necessary.
You just need to reach out and impact others positively and soon you will see big impact as this effect ripples.
Being an honest and encouraging/positive friend, reaching out, being there can be just as impactful as any other meaningful stuff.
The world is better off anyway if it’s full of positive folks!
Musings
I'm a Moderate Greenie. You?
Don and Mylene had invited us to their ‘filming’ on Sunday afternoon.
I say ‘filming’ because they were going to be the stars of an eco short film to be made by Ong of PenangWatch with a grant from USM. The venue was at a three-storey building along Weld Quay.
When we arrived, the filming was in process so we quietly slipped into the audience, most of which, according to Ong are friends and ‘cast’ from his other short films. (Ong’s film on the Chew Jetty was one of the winners at last year’s Freedom Film Festival organised by KOMAS.)
Don and Mylene are firm friends of ours, despite the age gap. I enjoy their no-nonsense approach to greening the environment and their philosophy is, start with yourself and your home.
A good idea because far too many people want to hug trees, wear eco t-shirts and plant trees once a year but it’s actually simpler and easier to do it slowly, do it consistently and do it proudly in your home.
This couple got our attention so much so that we decided to sponsor them a website so they could do their eco-work and activities more efficiently.
After all, their premise is simple: they can teach you and your taman how to recycle and how to raise funds for charity at the same time. You turn trash into cash for charity.
A delightful 2-in-1 approach. You help Mother Nature, you help the underprivileged.
Anyway, they’ve been doing this for 12 years now. They give free talks if you invite them (although they don’t say it outright, it’s nice if your taman or group or factory can reimburse their petrol or toll lah, after all they don’t charge a single sen for teaching you their method which saves space, saves headache and won’t turn your garden into a dumpster!).
The filming will be edited down into a 15-minute segment and submitted to an eco film festival, according to Ong.
While we have listened to Don and Mylene’s passionate talks for a while now (and now that we’ve become more green and eco-friendly), it’s always great as a refresher!
But what really spoiled my day was meeting an overzealous lady who was part of the audience. She just came up to us without as much as a hello (because I didn’t know who she was!) and started unzipping a little black pouch to show us her steel chopsticks, her cutlery, her plastic packs, etc.
She completely bulldozed her way into the conversation (we were having a break between filming) telling us what SHE does in Japanese restaurants (“I don’t use the disposable chopsticks” – excuse me lady, I didn’t ask!) and that she does this and that.
She asked Nic, “So what do you use when you go to Japanese restaurants?”
Nic’s retort was priceless. “We don’t go to Japanese restaurants… we eat at home.”
That shut her up completely. I bet you she was waiting to pounce on us once we said we ate Japanese.
I spot a wannabe martyr immediately.
There’s persuasion and then there’s stubbornness. For her, it was the latter trait which I dislike completely. Oh and add lots of high and mightiness.
Sometimes, the message is clearer if we don’t push too hard. Push too hard and people go ‘bleah’ and refuse to budge.
That’s what I often see. When people start getting their socks in a knot about their newfound passion in life, they get overzealous and start being preachy to everyone. Like they’re the only ones who’ve seen the light. Like if they don’t keep bugging us, they’ll get no brownie points.
I mean, come on. Did she ask if we’re recycling? (That afternoon, we lugged a bunch of recyclables to the recycling centre in Tmn Sri Nibong.) Did she ask what sort of lifestyle we led BEFORE dumping her philosophy on us?
This very LOUD woman stood up to declare she rummages through the rubbish in her apartment complex to separate out trash and recyclables. Good for you, I say, but that’s how you choose to be a martyr. (I kind of suspected she wanted her 5 minutes of fame during the filming too! She complimented the speakers, Don and Mylene for their eco efforts but I dare say much of the rhetoric that afternoon was purely about her and how she’s helping save the world.)
I help spread the awareness by doing other things – sponsoring a website, saying Tak Nak to plastic bags offered at cashier counters, bringing my own bag when shopping and buying less consumer products.
What would you do if you met such people in your life?
OK, besides sighing with exasperation!
What would you do? What would you say?
Animal Farm
I could rave and rant all day but this tale sums up a lot of stuff that’s going on in our Malaysia now.
A lot of people, good meaningful friends included, always tell Nic and me to migrate when we still are young and have lots to offer.
I think I’m stubborn. I also think I’m not an immigrant. This is my home, this is my land as much as it is theirs. Come to think of it, why should I leave and play into their scheme?
I have brilliant Malay friends but I have never looked at them as “Malays”. They’re friends. Period.
I have friends who are Muslim converts.
In fact, my youngest sis is a Muslim convert. And my parents, though initially upset, have gotten over it. I was far more upset in the first place! But see, even me, stubborn old sis, has come to grips with the idea. It’s her life. Let her live it her way.
Perhaps someone should ask us Chinese, what makes us cringe? What are the policies that make us so mad? What is it that can’t get through to their heads? What? Is it that we are pork-eaters? Is it that we make more money? What? What is it?
We cannot live together until we get that resentment out of the system.
What’s good these days (post 8 March, post 26 August) is that the worms are crawling out of the woodwork – worms which have been dormant too long. Once the worms are purged, perhaps there is hope for a better Malaysia.
I say a better Malaysia because we live in an abundant land, we speak a multitude of languages, we are far more competent that we let on. We have skills. We have resources. We have diversity.
And we certainly have more than that little island down south. (But that little island down south has exceptional marketing. They can turn anything into something. This happens when they use their brains for real stuff, not for fighting each other. That’s the difference.)
But why oh why aren’t we using what we have to go further?
Why are we still battling each other, 51 years after Merdeka?
Roz wished me Happy Merdeka when I met her last Sunday.
We aren’t really in the Merdeka state of mind if we still have pettiness in our hearts.
Wear a Socially Conscious Skirt
Over the past week, I’ve been thinking of what to write.
It’s not that I am at a loss for ideas.
I got around thinking this because this blog is for friends and family to catch up with me and my adventures (though most times, the adventures aren’t the Rin Tin Tin type!). I am a regular person, running a business and on the side, I run other things too (cue evil Madame Cruella cackle).
As it’s for real people, I’m not going to write fluff.
And you guys know me better.
I won’t write fluff.
I’m sensible in that sort of way.
And I always want to make this blog as meaningful as possible too. I won’t write crap though crap is sometimes so much easier to spew.
I won’t write anything that isn’t positive or life-affirming.
So that’s why sometimes there isn’t an update for a whole week and then comes a flood of stuff. I only want to share the best with people I love and people who know me and hopefully, love me (yeah, I know you do…. just kidding ok).
I’ve been approached even to put ads here. Yep. On this blog.
But no, that doesn’t feel right. This is Mayakirana, after all. I make enough money running my business and I know the few cents from running an ad won’t be enough to buy me Wall’s Moo ice cream (which, by the way, is my favourite ice cream this season – it’s ice cream sandwiched between 2 chocolate biscuits.)
Anyway, in a world where every blog is overrun by ads and blinking-in-your-face-audacity, isn’t it a relief to visit a blog that’s so Zen and advertisement-free?
And today,today I have something inspiring to share. It’s a beautiful forwarded email from my best pal, Jana.
The email was about Letha Sandison who started a social entreprenuership project in Uganda. The project helps Ugandan women earn a living and help themselves. It read:
She founded Wrap Up Africa which is an organization that helps provide jobs through local partnerships where the profits will be funneled back to community support programs through non-profit partners. Wrap Up Africa collaborates with the Uganda Cancer Institute in Kampala, Uganda to help with the growing and often unrecognized needs of the patients.
Letha has designed wrap skirts to fit any body type. She then trains local Ugandans (many of them are parents of cancer patients) to sew the skirts…providing them with a job that not only helps their family live a little more comfortably but helps care for their dear child who has cancer. She gets so much joy out of seeing these parents feel as though they have a sense of purpose now because sitting around and waiting was just too painful.
It says, “A skill, a skirt, a life saved” which cleverly epitomises what Letha’s Wrap Up Africa (WUA) project is about.
WUA teaches Ugandan women tailoring skills and lets them use sewing machines at the Ugandan Cancer Institute. Later these women sew wrap-around skirts which are then bought back by WUA to sell back in the States.
The profit made from selling these skirts are used by the cancer institute to fund programmes and activities for cancer patients such as cancer treatment, nutritional programmes, scholarship programmes, therapeutic arts programme for cancer patients, setting up a library and buying basic necessities like mosquite nets for the patients.
I thought it was a fabulous way to give back.
A simple idea becomes a life-saving idea. You get a skirt, the Ugandans get to live, you feel damn good parading in your skirt.
Shouldn’t life be meaningful like this?
The Wrap Up Africa skirts are sold on Etsy at 100 dolllars a pop.
Missed Me? I Missed Me Too!
My blog title says it all. I missed my blog. I missed rambling like some old nenek. I have lots of stories to tell. In fact, sometimes I think I have so much to tell that I don’t know where to start.
This blog got cranky the past few days and I got booted out. Couldn’t log in. Couldn’t do a damn thing. Nic asked me if I had backed up the blog posts. Like yeah, maybe a month ago! Don’t do this to me, oh Blog. Don’t wipe out my entries. They’re hard work. But Nic’s my husband for a good reason – he can perform some IT miracles. Finally, my Baby (Blog) is back.
And now Maya can get down to updating all and sundry about her 2 weeks!
Well, first off, I didn’t win in my Science & Tech category that night at the MWW Gala Dinner. But chill people. When I SMSed a friend, she shot back: “Woman, you are among the 18 chosen women of Malaysia! That’s a big win.” Yes, my dear. You are so right!
Another friend told me she bought MWW and showed “me” off to everyone! Hey, thanks Dot for the life-affirming gesture. I’m proud that you’re so proud of me!
Actually I’m not even disappointed (oh god, I must be aging gracefully! I was a competitive maniac when I was in school) – I was enjoying myself so much that I quite forgot that I didn’t manage to get that Royal Doulton vase (masquerading as a trophy). I invited Lisa along and she had a grand time, being made up by the Guerlain girls in black and having her hair styled.
What I loved most was meeting Jun Lin (artistic director of the Rainforest World Music Festival), Alecia (of Gorgeous Geeks, what a name for a group of IT women, love the name!), Dr Tang (Malaysia’s only pediatric rheumatologist), Cynthia (a retail consultant for One Utama), Hoong Ling (exuberant gal with such a brilliant smile), Maple Loo-Asaro (the really beautiful owner of JapaMala Resort Tioman and Samadhi Retreats), Regina (love her elegant hair do), Prof Dr Halimaton (she won in my category by the way but we had a great time chatting during dinner… she looks so much like Marina Mahathir!) and Shanti Jayaram (who was the Most Inspiring Woman of the night – she told the story of how she was nominated by her boss at Zerin Properties – what a boss, right?).
I was there with these accomplished, beautiful and fabulous women. Looking at them all, I think Malaysia’s in no way short of talent or skills. We’re all doing something fantastic in our own ways, helping the community and in a way, helping ourselves to grow.
As we were all being fussed over by hair stylists and make-up girls in a private room which gave us a stupendous view of Pavillion KL across the road, I felt a bit like an awards winner! Everyone was truly down-to-earth, especially the women team of Malaysian Women’s Weekly: Tara Barker (the editor-in-chief), Elaine Kwong (MWW editor), Melati (MWW writer with a hidden talent for designing evening gowns), Rina, Geetha, even to that sole guy graphic designer who shyly asked us to pose for a photo!
Ning Baizura sang a few Whitney Houston songs as we dined on a 3-course dinner (no photos of the food due to the subdued lighting and I had to listen attentively to my dinner companions right? Would be kind of rude to whip out my camera every 5 seconds).
My dinner companions that night included Dr Farrah-Hani Imran (remember the gymnast? She’s now a medical doc) and her cute brother, Dr Amran as they were seated at our table. Dr Amran looked like a spitting image of RPK with a deliciously wicked sense of humour.
Everyone had their five minutes of fame as we were announced by Lina Teoh (who did an amazing job emceeing that night – the right dose of wit!) to go onstage, accompanied by male models, to receive our orchid bouquet from Tara. Nominees in each category were next photographed together. Each nominee received a Guerlain Paris Orchidee Imperial, Patchi chocolates (divine!), an autographed copy of MWW by Ning, a certificate, Royal Albert silver spoons and a bouquet of white lilies and orchids.
I’ll let the photos do the talking… it was a perfect night where I felt like a princess! Thanks to a special friend who nominated me and gave me this chance to try something totally different from my usual Penang routine. Thanks to everyone who SMSed the votes. Thanks to everyone of you who believed in me. Robert even intoned me to visualise winning using the law of attraction! (We’re both serious junkies of The Secret!)
Related links:
http://mayakirana.com/blog/2008/06/a-hurricane-of-a-trip/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/kristagoon/sets/72157605952122481/
Wish Me Luck!
I won’t be posting for a few days as I am off to KL for the MWW Gala Dinner tonight.
Shall be going with Lisa and we two are quite excited despite having to arrive at 3pm at The Westin for a rehearsal.
Yes, you read right. A rehearsal! *making me slightly nervous now*
Ning Baizura will be crooning some songs, Lina Teoh will be the emcee.
A few days ago I got the dinner programme from Rina, the deputy editor of MWW and it seems we’ll be made up by professional make up artists and hair stylists. Am I relieved I don’t have to lug my sister’s Philips hair styling tools to KL. As it is, there’s a lack of leg room on AirAsia planes. Am I relieved I don’t have to do my own make up!
Anyway, thank you my dears for your SMSes and support and calls. You know who you all are.
I am so grateful to everyone who voted for me. I am going without any expectation of winning because I want to have a fabulous time and I want to meet the other amazing women too! If I win, that’s a bonus! And the Montfort Boys Town will probably be the recipient of the RM5,000 prize….already Nic’s adamant that this organisation should get it. I think so too.
Other than that, I shall have more news and more photos when I get back to Penang next Wednesday!
Until then, wish me luck, my dears!
The Best of Us
It’s Olympic season…. which is a good thing in my books.
Thank God I don’t rely on RTM to get broadcasts. Who wants to hear some boring wawancara when you can enjoy the action live? Why can’t RTM get out of its RTM-ness (which basically means, humdrum, boring, old fart sort of stuff)? If you work for RTM and you are reading this, please go tell your boss that RTM, even after the so-called revamp, is not working! It’s not on the pulse of what people want to watch these days. But RTM never gets it. It reminds me of an old, obstinate company which won’t change because it’s too scary and too difficult to change.
Anyway, RTM rant aside, I love Astro this Olympic season. 8 channels of pure sports to indulge in. I had to of course upgrade my Astro subscription (which took 24 hours to activate) but for an extra RM20 each month, I now have the pleasure of watching world-class sports.
We’re planning to just subscribe to the Sports package just for this Olympic season but we’ll see what happens after that. Maybe we’ll stick to it though Nic isn’t a football fan.
The opening ceremony was amazing, don’t you think? We rushed home and sat glued to the TV for the whole night. There’s this thing about being Chinese – no losing face OK? – especially when Western eyes are watching, no, make that scrutinising every move. Well, the Chinese bested them in terms of firework display last Friday.
The other good thing as a result of hosting the Olympics is that the Chinese learn some manners and learn how to be eco friendly too. Not bad for a nation of spitters and rubbish-throwers. A friend who used to work in Shanghai said she hated walking in their streets, for fear some spit might land at her feet! A good suggestion is to carry an umbrella and keep it open always to prevent spit from soiling oneself.
The Olympics perhaps remind us that humans are superhuman particularly when I watched the puny Chinese gal lift double her weight! Or when the Koreans nearly had perfect tens in archery. It’s really about majestic humans on a world platform for the next 16 days.
Isn’t that about the best of us, like the ad says?
A Little Weekend Gossip
It’s been way too busy for me these past 2 weeks.
First I was in Langkawi for 3 days and when I got back, I was whisked away by my 2 girlfriends for a girls’ only weekend getaway (it happened right here in Penang la, I didn’t go anywhere exotic but just had an overnight in Evergreen Laurel) and now that I am catching my breath a bit, I will be packing again to go off to Kuching for a week.
And when I get back after that, I will be going off for the gala dinner in KL (remember the MWW Awards thingy?)
It culminates in a posh dinner in The Westin and an audience with the Tengku Puan Pahang, Tunku Hajjah Azizah).Actually I met the Tunku about 2 years ago when she launched a fertility website we designed for a client but that’s another story for another rainy day.
A scheduled luncheon meet with Datuk Dr Ng Yen Yen was also in order about two days after the gala dinner but I declined. I decided that I would really need a rest after such frenzy and though meeting Datuk Dr Ng would be a treat, I think too many things leave me too breathless.
My sis had sms-ed me that my face was in the MWW magazine this month but I had hardly any chance to pop into a bookstore to grab a copy (what with me going about Georgetown like a typical tourist).
Luckily my staff bought a copy and was raring to show it to me when I got into the office this afternoon. If you could, do SMS and vote for yours truly. I would be deeply grateful and honoured if I do win any of the awards on 15 August (when the gala dinner is scheduled and the winners announced). My 15 minutes’ claim to fame, so to speak!
I will be in Kuching for a bit of R&R but all my so-called R&R’s are often fun and productive for business too. This time, I will be meeting two friends of mine when I am in Cat City. We’re going for a reading at BING, one of the local cafes next Sunday.
Well, Robert will be doing a reading since he is the published author (his new book is out now so here is a shameless plug for a dear friend and client *smile*) but it seems he intends to drag me there so I can help him do a reading! Let’s see what happens.
I hope to blog more once I am in Kuching. Work in the office often leaves me with very little time to blog which is a delicious irony because most of my work revolves around writing! Such is the case for most people anyway. The paying work gets done first before anything else. Ouch.
Hope to write about a tonne of stuff I did over the past week and my girly-girl weekend which was slightly marred (imagine sitting between 2 arguing women and both are my good pals from uni!). Errgh!
Turning from Fish to Shark
I rarely get upset. I rarely lose my cool. I think life’s best enjoyed if one is optimistic and happy not glum and sullen.
But I got mad and I turned from friendly fish to grumpy shark two days ago.
Because of some people’s impertinence.
Sigh.
Most of you who know me know I am the last person to explode and short-circuit. So it had better be something truly freaking mad to get my knickers all knotted up.
Coffee, Curry Puffs & Robert
If you are a fan of Robert Raymer and his books, you’ll be pleased to know that Robert will be in KL on 26 July to launch his newly published book, Lovers & Strangers Revisited under MPH.
Robert used to be my creative writing teacher when I was in USM. He read one of my soppiest stories ever. That piece still makes me cringe if I re-read it.
And now he is our client. What a strange way fate brings people together.
We’ve now become firm friends and pop by to visit him and his family whenever we get to Kuching, Nic’s hometown.
Anyway, don’t fret if you can’t make it for Robert’s KL reading. He will be here in Penang, at the Penang Street Market on 31 August to sign books and read from his new book (pssst.. this is how his new book looks like).
Check out Eric Forbes’ blog for more info on Robert’s book launch and more. (Eric is a book editor by the way.)
