Tell Me, Is A Good Man That Hard to Find?

My question again: Is a good man/guy that hard to find?
No, I’m not going to have a mid-life crisis.
I am asking because it seems that a number of women and gals I know (and who are perfectly OK in every sense) cannot seem to find the right guys to date or settle down with!
Over apple-flavoured tea and chocolate-covered-melt-in-your-mouth fluffy donuts a few days ago, my cousin and I were talking about how her colleagues, well meaning as they were, tried to pair her off with some guys.
Of course, this cousin of mine is not old at all…she’s only 26. But she doesn’t seem to be making any leeway in terms of the dating game. She’d rather hang out with her gal pals.
She’s a girl with brains so maybe, just maybe, guys are afraid of girls who can speak their minds. So I ask her, well, what do you want in a boyfriend?
She doesn’t hesitate at all.
“He must speak English. Otherwise he won’t get the punchline!”
I know that her work as a graphic designer brings her in contact with lots of guys but they’re Chinese-educated guys. Which for her, an MGS gal, is like total opposites.
Can try but can break a vein trying!
For one, have I not told you that the English speaking among us can try to be friends with the Mandarin speaking among us but it’s like Martians and Venusians trying to get along?
It’s not very pleasant – maybe it’s the sort of thinking that English speaking Malaysians have. The Mandarin speakers think we are the actsy sort just because we speak English! Bah. They think we’re snotty.
So I tell her, go where the English speaking sorts are… how about the British Council. Try hanging about where your prospects are (that’s Marketing 101 for you). Sign up for a class at the British Council and see if you don’t meet likeminded men who speak English and can get jokes without going ‘huh’?
I told her she ought to get out of the house more. This anime-loving, Korean drama fan and PC nerd of my cousin loves nothing better than lounging about at home in front of her PC when she’s not working. She loves playing online games and getting her laughs from Korean comedies. She’s also a big fan of Terry Pratchett and would rather spend her money buying books than buying this season’s clothes.
So I start thinking, is a good guy that hard to find? She tells me that every other guy she knows is either gay or totally not her cup of Starbucks. I find that guys these days are so androgenous that gals are a lot more ‘tough’ by comparison.
Where are the guys of my time? Guys who looked like guys? Guys who didn’t swipe their girl friends’ lip balm? Guys whom you didn’t have to play the guessing game if they’re gay or straight.
It’s not my dear cousin’s dilemma either. Her sister’s friend, who was paired up with a guy, didn’t make it past 2 months of dating. They split after 60 days!
Another friend of mine who is pretty and independent cannot find a man. There’s nothing wrong with her at all. Another friend of mine who is in politics tell me that she also cannot find the right guy despite always being in touch with the local community with her work.
“How about the men in your political meetings? Don’t you all go out for drinks or makan?” I ask. You see, I’m curious.
Really, where have all the good men gone?
“Ya, when we go out for teh tarik, we still talk politics! Where got time to talk about other stuff?” Plus she says they’re all old and grumpy.
More and more, I am hearing the same stories.
Cannot meet the right men but they keep meeting the wrong ones, gays, men not interested in women, men interested in politics but not women or meeting men who just want to shag!
Yes, darlings, there are crappy men like that. They want you to get into the sack with them and then, so long ma’am. It’s just fun baby. Don’t take it too seriously ya.
So I am left wondering – are the right men all married? Are the right men in the places where women aren’t looking (under a rock perhaps)?
I also ask myself this: if I weren’t married, would I have a hard time finding the right man? In my time, it was easier to find men. They actually looked like men! These days, just because you think it walks like a man and shaped like a man may NOT be a man at all!
Like my cousin says, she doesn’t need to go hang about clubs and pubs to reel in a man. That’s not her style and she’s right.
I told her to go hang around Borders (especially the shelves with Terry Pratchett books!) and see if she can’t find a guy who loves to read like her.
Many years ago, a guy infiltrated our group of women bookworms and got himself a wife! I am not joking. He came to our book meets and fell in love with one of my friends. Everyone got invited for their wedding a few years back but we couldn’t help but think, wow, the audacity yet it worked. It was like a movie plot but it was real. They’re still happily married to each other so yes, finding a partner who loves the stuff you love can be a turn-on and attractor factor.
So tell me, I have no answers why a good man is that hard to find. I have on the other hand a few eligible men friends who seem to have it tough finding the women they want to marry! A friend of mine is wealthy and good-looking but no one wants to be his girl friend! So maybe it’s not the looks or the money then.
Another guy I know is sweet and thoughtful yet he can’t seem to find the right women to date!
Tell me, is a good man/ woman that hard to find?
How did you find your husband/boyfriend/wife/girlfriend?
Mine was easy. I found him when I was studying in USM, in my first year. He was introduced to me by a good friend and we’ve been dating since 1994 and married since 2001. I guess I got lucky!
I wonder if I would be lucky if I were single again in today’s relationship market?