Surprises? Give Me a Break

I despise having surprises sprung upon. I really detest that. Knowing that predictability can run away in a split second makes me even more wary. Last night, someone gave me a surprise call.
The call came at about 9.38pm.
Not a friend, I figured, as the name didn’t show up. Some wrong number I guess.
“Hello, this is [inaudible]. I am a friend of Rxxx who used to work at Sheraton and she had told me that you’re a very sharp and bright woman in your 30s running your own business.”
Keep the fake compliments to yourself, lady. I went, “Uh-hmmmm. Yes. R’s my friend but she’s migrated overseas some time ago.”
“Ah yes, she told me about you before she left for Canberra. Is it a good time to talk?”
“Actually, it’s not a good time to talk. Can you call me back in 30 minutes?”
“Oh, I’m calling from KL and I’m moving around so I’m afraid I won’t be able to catch up with you later. But I’ll make it short. I don’t know whether you are open to business partnerships? We can explore something together if you are.”
Now, I am very sensitive to these kind of words. Open to business partnerships? Sure, why not. Exploring is fine by me but please girl, tell me about your business. Give me at least a name so I can Google for it. (I am a damn good Googler, mind you.)
“Oh, I think it is better that we meet up and talk since I’ll be coming to Penang later this week. Is Thurs or Fri okay with you?”
My gut tells me something is not quite right here. Why be so hush-hush if we are to explore something together?
Something tells me there’s a big fat three-day-old fish in here somewhere. As in fishy. Two possibilities spring to mind:
(1) she’s doing some sort of MLM.
MLMers are like that. They don’t know that that’s the most awful line they could use (“We better meet up and talk first”) because it simply makes people suspicious. I don’t like suspicion creeping up on me.
(2) she’s a financial planner of some dubious credibility.
Financial planning? Good euphemism for insurance agents, no? (At least in Malaysia they are… masquerading as financial planners.)
So I absolutely REFUSE to play her game. I think my time is way too precious to squander on a person who cannot even tell me over the phone what she does or where she’s heading. And her secretive ways aren’t going to convince me either. Been there, done that. I’ve lots of friends who are either in MLM, financial planning or something or another.
I’ve been cajoled and pleaded with to join weird money-making schemes.
I’ve been told about the glorious returns on selling Canadian gold coins four years ago.
I’ve been told about the greatest skincare products this side of Earth and how it was going to really change the way women look. (Changed the thickness of their cheque books, maybe.)
I’ve been told how the Tahitian Noni juice was THE medical breakthrough in cancer etc. only to find that the bitter ‘mengkudu’ fruit grew wild and abundantly in the heartlands of Malaysia.
I’ve been told that XXX was THE best return on investment package ever and one could drive around in BMWs within a year. (Tell me, where can I park the BMW in the tiny parking spaces that Penang is notorious for?)
And guess what, I’ve never faltered with my “No, thank you.”
No, thank you because I am happy the way I am.
People who chase after harebrained scheme after harebrained scheme lose focus on the real goals in life. People who are tempted by shortcuts to success. People who get singed again and again because they have not realised that there is no free lunch in life.
So, if you’re an MLMer, insurance agent or whatever, please stop messing up my life.
I don’t care if you are my best friend’s cousin or uncle’s good friend.
If you want to talk real business, fine. Tell me where we can start. If not, give me a break!

4 thoughts on “Surprises? Give Me a Break”

  1. It’s all in the script! They all say the same thing because that’s what their uplines and up-up-lines tell them to say. There’s actually a piece of paper that they put under their noses whenever they make calls. Spring a surprise question at them and watch them scurry off because it’s not in the script.
    Actually, I was also enticed into MLM more than once before, joined them, tried them, think it’s not for me…the likes, you know. That’s why I know it’s in the script.
    You’re smarter than me, from the looks of it. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Reply
  2. hi marsha
    haha, i’m not smarter just “burnt” enough times by “well-meaning friends” who want to make me rich. Only that THEY forgot to tell me that I’ll be making them rich too! Did some checking up on my own on this person who called me. She’s doing Amway. We grow wiser each day. And I can smell insincerity a mile away.

    Reply
  3. ooooo. Amway. I hate those. My former roomate in uni used to try to get me to join Amway because he thought I spent too much time playing games… ๐Ÿ™‚
    I have loads of friends in MLMs, but I’ve always given them a warning: DON’T EVER try to recruit me. And they never do. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Reply
  4. hi eyeris,
    ya. i hate those too. everyone i know seems to be in MLM and all of a sudden, you’re their best friend and they want to take you out for dinner. It starts off obvious: a friend whom you’ve never seen in four years suddenly asks if you’re fine and would you be free for dinner? hmmmph!

    Reply

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